Written by Grant

Friday, 21 April 2006

image for Cherie Blair Shaves Head!
It's mine honest!

Today, amidst much controversy over the cost to the U.K prime minister's wife's hairdressing costs during the last general election campaign, (allegedly totalling some £7000 per hair follicle, per day), a press statement was issued by the Labour party stating "So What!"

In response, an outraged former Conservative leader, the Michael Howard, who stood at the last election for PM said: - "My wife,……………………………

It is estimated that the total bill for the "Cheridoo" has come in at £4.2 billion +VAT and assorted aftercare products, the total price of which is yet to be established, "but certainly did not include "root treatment"".

It is reputed that unofficially the Royal Navy have complained that this cost could replaced at least two aircraft carriers, one submarine, and feed the relevant crews for a year, in addition other services have reputedly made representations based upon their own needs.

The treasury has today, declined to comment on if the "Cheridoo" was funded by the taxpayer, but the Rt.Hon.Gordon Brown, Chancellor of the Exchequer was quoted as saying " Errrrrrrrr…….. Blimey, best make some more NHS cuts…. Eh..eh, hoo hoo hoo…errrr….excuse me, where is the bathroom exactly?"

Labour party central office, in a formal statement, stated… "The Cheridoo" was funded by a private loan to the Labour party, and we are keeping the details of the person(s) loaning the funds confidential". They have, however stated: - "There is no breach of governmental rules, indeed, "Mrs Booth/Blair has a very thick head of hair and costs like this are bound to mount up"".

It is claimed, by some sources who have asked to remain anonymous, that this was not privately funded at all, and the bill was as usual footed by the tax-payer, put down as just another government overspend.

"The Cheridoo project" has overrun day by day without any discernable penalty to contractors, much like the millennium dome.

Acutely aware of the adverse press this is giving her already beleaguered husband, today, Cherie is reputed to have turned to her controversial lifestyle guru Ms.Carole Caplin for advise.

Regrettably, Ms.Caplin was unavailable for comment today due to unexpected chanting commitments, and an appointment to view some flats in the Bristol area, however Cherie was seen leaving Ms Caplin's Knightsbridge home early this morning resplendent in her full Q.C. wig, and clutching what appears to be a pair of horse hair clippers, commonly found in stables around the U.K.

Speculation continues as to the outcome of the "Cheridoo project" - a full public enquiry however is unlikely to happen.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Labour, Cherie Blair

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