Prescott: "Affair was a Mistake"

Funny story written by Suzy Smile

Wednesday, 26 April 2006

image for Prescott: "Affair was a Mistake"
John Shows the size of the problem

John Prescott (UK Deputy Prime Minister) has been caught red faced in an uncompromising position with Tracey Temple, one of his secretaries, it was reported last night. When challenged, Mr Prescott (67) was happy to confess to having the affair but advised that it was a mistake! He went on to explain that as Tracey Temple (46) looked after his diary, did general admin duties and the odd bit of filing, it clearly states under section 23(2)b of the Office Relations Act 1992, that this was merely an administrative error.

Insiders have complained that the mistake could have been prevented if they had listened to the warning signs. Apparently one employee, Lynda Strutt complained that Mr Prescott nuzzled her neck in a lift. Lynda collapsed and was rushed to hospital with severe stomach pains. ‘I highlighted this problem to my line manager and asked for a revision in ‘lift procedures', but Johnny laughed it off and continued to operate his duties in this fashion, one day a big mistake was bound to happen'.

Tracey Temple, recovering, was not available for comment. However, more colleagues of hers were. Sandra Tash, Assistant Secretary, said ‘I've also made a few admin errors with Mr Prescott, Tracey got let of lightly if you ask me. He gave me a really hard time!' complained Sandra. Fellow employee Sharon Howe advised, ‘I blew the whistle and it didn't even raise an eyebrow. I felt as if no-one was really interested. And they have got Investors in People - it is a joke!'

It would appear that this type of mistake has become an acceptable part of working life in Government.

Mr Prescott told our reporter that he had discussed the affair fully with his wife Pauline, who could not believe this ‘mistake' had occurred. She was very disturbed by the news and said that she was well aware what an awful experience these mistakes with her husband could be. She hoped that Ms Temple was not too traumatised.

Tony Blair has called for better management and strict quality control. He said that all office procedures were to be reviewed. Prescott said that he was not entirely to blame for his employee's unfortunate experience. Commenting on Tracey's part in the administrative error, he stated ‘Things could definitely do with a bit of tightening up'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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