Queen to Star in "Dallas movie"

Written by Grant

Sunday, 23 April 2006

image for Queen to Star in "Dallas movie"
Hi Y'All

Buckingham Palace today confirmed speculation that Queen Elizabeth II is to have a starring role in the new movie version of the hit 1980's TV series "Dallas".

A press spokesman at the palace also confirmed that although the role had not yet been clearly defined, it is likely that the queen will play the Ewing family matriarch "Miss Ellie".

The British director of the new film Gurinder Chadha has been quoted as saying "Her majesty is perfect for the role, as in the first instance, she bears an uncanny resemblance to Miss Eliie, and is an old hand when it comes to dealing with a wealthy, difficult and troublesome family…. much like the Ewing's really."

Ms Chandha continued: - "Her majesty is keen to have other members of her household involved…….and has suggested additional roles to members of them….being who she is, it's difficult to reuse, but you will have to talk to the casting director about that."

Casting director Sophie Wessex confirmed that other members of the royal household are "in talks" with regard to roles in the new movie and that there is a provisional list of potential characters such as: - JR Ewing being played by Prince Charles, Sue Ellen may possibly be played by the Duchess of Cornwall (due to on screen chemistry).

Prince Andrew the Duke of York is expected to play the high living, golf playing Bobby Ewing.

Her majesty, despite a gruelling schedule of public appearances relating to her 80th birthday celebrations is it seems, taking the role very seriously indeed, and has reputedly taken time out to practice her Texan accent with a renowned voice coach as well as "brushing up" with numerous telephone calls to George.W.Bush.

Insiders at the palace have however expressed concern that the phone calls with George W are perhaps not appropriate due to her picking up what may be deemed to be inappropriate phases such as "Get those g'daaaamn Corgis outa' here - you hear me boy!?"

Her majesty has apparently expressed "reservations" about the appointment of Koo Stark as cinematography director, and it is likely that Ms.Stark will be replaced before shooting begins

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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