Written by The rat

Sunday, 2 April 2006

image for Kofi Annan Endorses Mugabe Plan
Kofi Annan congratulating Mugabe on his UN address

Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe has introduced a UN resolution proposing senior individuals from an independent group of countries be appointed to ensure there is no repeat of the fiasco leading to an un-elected US president.

He said, "The United States still has a lot to learn in regard to administering a democracy and with the influence it has over the economic well-being and physical security of many of the world's peoples, it is in the interest of the wider community that the next US federal election is seen to be fair and above board and that a true representative of the American people is installed in the Whitehouse".

He has cited a precedent for this, being the group to which he gave permission to oversee Zimbabwe's last presidential election, when his return to power was pronounced squeaky clean and corruption free, by scrutineers from many of the world's oldest democracies.

He added, "This un-elected US government has the nerve to criticise my policies in my own country when it, under the auspices of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and other cowboys within their administration run roughshod over any country they wish, imprison and torture anyone they believe from whom they can extract some sort of confession and detain people for indeterminate periods of time without charge or recourse to legal aid. This is especially reprehensible as after the 2000 election, Al Gore was the one with most of the votes. What sort of democracy do you call that?"

Mr Mugabe has proposed a preliminary list of dignitaries he believes suitable to scrutinise the US election process. They are, Fidel Castro, Cuban president, Jean Claude Masangu, governor of the central bank of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Enrique Balanos, president of Nicaragua, Jacques Chirac, president of France and Mumar Ghadafi, leader of Libya.

Mr Mugabe's address to the United Nations was hailed by Secretary General Kofi Annan as a milestone in the affairs of the world and he said it will bring hope for a new era of justice and sanity to be restored to the international community.

When Dick Cheney got to hear about Mr Mugabe's proposal he and the US war cabinet got together to bring forward the time table of which country was next on the list to be taught a lesson.

During the cabinet meeting, Cheney was admitted to hospital after his pacemaker overheated, his pulse rocketed up to 400 beats per second and blew a fuse. Donald Rumsfeld, after downing a whole bottle of scotch, called up another 100,000 reservists, put the US air force on high alert in readiness to invade the country and bomb the Zimbabwean government out of office.

Tony Blair, the current British prime minister, said, "We have credible intelligence that the Zimbabwean regime of Robert Mugabe has been amassing nuclear weapons for years with yellowcake smuggled into the country from Iraq and satellite photographs show that they have inter-continental ballistic missiles targeted at New York, London, Chicago, Los Angeles and Sydney Australia and can release them within twenty minutes of a decision from the Zimbabwean high command.

Hans Blix has gone on the record as saying he has his doubts as to the veracity of Tony Blair's claims.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Robert Mugabe, Group

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