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Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Funny story: Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Billionaire businessman Mike Ashley has blasted "greedy landlords" for the closure of several House of Fraser department stores. The Sports Direct and Newcastle United FC owner stepped in to buy the historical chain for £90 million when it looked...

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Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

Funny story: Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

There was brighter news for industry today, when it was announced that, despite poor performances in nearly all the UK's industry sectors, there was one major area of growth - shoplifting. Whilst energy, manufacturing, the services sector, financi...

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Little Chef Boss Sees Brexit Dividend from No Deal Chaos

Funny story: Little Chef Boss Sees Brexit Dividend from No Deal Chaos

Little Chef chairman, ardent Brexiteer, Conservative party donor, tax exile and fast food entrepreneur, Sir Tom Arto-Ketchup spoke out today about his hopes for a Brexit Dividend as a result of a no deal Brexit and Operation Stack bringing the roads...

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Cruel Gits to launch new range of greeting cards

A new range of greeting cards is to be released by the marketing company Cruel Bastards Incorporated. The cards are designed to cheer up people following tragic and sad, everyday life events. Death, relationship break-ups, and a good football team...

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Dissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere

Funny story: Dissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere

Dissatisfied with the wait-time for a cup of coffee to go at his (formerly) regular neighborhood coffee shop, Bean Stop, New York City resident Dan Foley recently decided to take his business to elsewhere. “There were three people in line ahead of...

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Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business

Funny story: Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business

Following the recent collapse of his Artisan Coat-Hanger making business successful business-man Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has started up his own Artisan paper-clip making business instead. 'Well, what i...

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Man starts artisan coat hanger business

Funny story: Man starts artisan coat hanger business

Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has launched his own artisan coat-hanging business. Heckingthump III told us, ‘From where I see it, a house overlooking the better part of the Thames, the times are just right f...

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The Increased Use Of The 'More Money Than God' Adage Prompts Jesus To Reveal His Net Worth

Funny story: The Increased Use Of The 'More Money Than God' Adage Prompts Jesus To Reveal His Net Worth

You've heard the slogan a million times - 'He's got more money than God'. And every time you listened to the saying, there was never any documented funds to refer upon to support the outlandish claim.  Well, now there is, thanks to Jesus officiall...

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America's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon

For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...

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Discovery: Delivered to Wrong Address... Purloined

Funny story: Discovery: Delivered to Wrong Address... Purloined

TiVo 2 Circle Star Way San Carlos, CA 94070 May 11th 2017 El Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump La Casa Blanca 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.C. 20050 Dear SEŇOR SUPREME Presidente Trump, This is to confirm our oral contract of May 9th, 2017, where our corporation agrees to pay $25,000.00 to th...

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Spoof reporter to hire firm to garner '5 thumbs up'

Funny story: Spoof reporter to hire firm to garner '5 thumbs up'

Veteran Spoof Journalist, George Porgeman is reaching out to the advertising agency Madison Lexington to help influence his adoring public to register 5 thumbs up for his dispatches "I try to get as many family members as I can" said Mr. Porg...

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Canada to build wall

Funny story: Canada to build wall

The county of Plunk, Pennsylvania, working with Plunk University's department of Alternate Energy is in the process of turning the county's sizable collection of Canadian Goose feces into energy that according to County President Stan Klink "will be...

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Two Fingers to the EU as UK Signs Trade Deal With Burkina Faso

Funny story: Two Fingers to the EU as UK Signs Trade Deal With Burkina Faso

"The United Kingdom is open for business, now more than ever," that was Prime Minister Theresa May's post-Brexit message to journalists gathered at No. 10 Downing Street yesterday. Words expelled with both vigor and pomp, she was speaking after sign...

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Texas Instruments introduces the Wife's Calculator

Funny story: Texas Instruments introduces the Wife's Calculator

Jenn Swenson V.P. of business development for Texas Instruments Inc. has brought to market a product that many people feel existed already. The Wife's Calculator is 99% a regular calculator, it adds, subtract, multiplies, divides, works percentages,...

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Dr Farquar and Corporates

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. All you see is burgermeat and self satisfaction. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant, and then an analyst to understand why the cow has dropped dead. You then draft in two private doctors mainstream bereavement counsellors. A Tibetan self-styled Guru. You join the Bahai faith and spent a fort...

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Trump Wants To Host The Apprentice In White House

Funny story: Trump Wants To Host The Apprentice In White House

Donald Trump has a global empire worth billions and he owes hundreds of millions of dollars to foreign lenders, including the government-owned Bank of China. He has business interests in at least 14 countries, many authoritarian regimes. Although p...

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Peroxide Hoarding Reported in Nation's Capitol Following Trump Victory

The small supply room at Color Me Crazy, a Northwest Washington DC salon, is bursting to capacity. Yesterday it doubled as a break room for 4 stylists but today, bottles of peroxide and noxious gas fill the space. "We haven't ordered peroxide in at...

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Americans Shouldn't Pay Taxes Unless They Are Fair

Funny story: Americans Shouldn't Pay Taxes Unless They Are Fair

To provide a framework for this story, let it be reported that In the U.S. people making an average of $75,000 pay an effective federal tax rate of 20%. But CEO Tim Crook has decided that Pear Corporation, makers of computers and smart phones doe...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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