Just four short days into the new year, and a man who reckons he is a bit of an expert on such matters has said that it's entirely possible, by no great stretch of the imagination, that 2021 could eventually, by far, outstrip 2020 in its shitness.
The government's post-Coronavirus strategy will support ailing restaurants and tackle the lockdown binging obesity crisis by providing half a meal, at full price, for fatties. ‘This government isn’t going to sit on its arse, we’ve got an appetit…
New York- Multi-billionaire, Jack Moneybags, has given away 85% of his personal wealth this morning, after finding out that he was one of the few people in the top 1%. "This whole time, I thought having this much money was normal," says Mr. Mone…
Usually, Forbes publishes the Top 10 lists of people that have more than you will ever dream of having, but this time they decided to make a list of the people that own you. 1) Jeff Bezos Yes...when you created your Amazon account, you didn’t rea...
Not a day goes by, but it seems that another shop in a random high street in a town or city across Britain closes...only to be turned into a den of filth and depravity, or into a ghetto whereby habitual cocaine users use the said shop to shoot the di...
Troubled UK airline, Flybe, in the midst of financial catastrophe, has, this morning, announced plans to offer passengers a new service with flights to an increasingly popular destination - Oblivion. The airline has crippling debts, and cannot loo...
While some of her coworkers might give her odd looks when she shows up in a fitted blouse and business skirt on casual Fridays at the office, Lara Revolinski has a plan in mind. "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have," is the motto adop...
In Orpington, retired multi-millionaire, Colin Powell Montgomery Ablitt Smyth the third, has just opened a Spirograph bistro. Following on from the news that Kevin Wilkes, a 24-year-old hipster from Chutney-on-the-Fritz has opened an etch-a-sketch...
Geneva: This afternoon, drug manufacturer Hoffman La Roche, most notably famous for bringing the wildly popular pharmaceutical Lysergic acid diethylamide to market (we all know it as LSD, windowpane, double domes, etc.), announced the formation of a...
Aimlessly perusing an online news website, this morning, a man was confronted with an advertisement that invited him to become a Qualified Accountant, so he decided he would look further into the lucrative prospect. Moys Kenwood, 55, quickly cli...
It took a while, but Trace Nelson of New York City eventually realized that his coworker Jennifer Friedman had been pointedly ignoring him for over six months. "I think I must have accidentally offended her in some way," said Trace. "No clue how,...
Appealing to gardeners and parents alike, an international drug company recently introduced its new "Roundup-ready" baby aspirin, which will not only reduce the risk of clot-related strokes in those who take it, but will also provide protection again...
Greensboro, North Carolina. Several corporate visitors claimed they were extremely pleased when their senses were overwhelmed by an odor containing a unique combination of "wet garbage and poop" last Monday during a routine inspection of a plant ass...
"We've totally lost the art of psychological manipulation," said former advertising executive Harvey Partridge, bemoaning the deterioration of commercial advertising. "These days, it's all about selling something. I just didn't feel good about it any...
Gary Johnson 48, is shocked to hear that Woolworths has been shut down for a decade. The music fan revealed that although his music tastes are fairly broad and up-to-date, he last bought an album from a shop when Moby's Play album first came out.
A man in a boardroom meeting has told how he became aware of an odious smell that had nothing to do with him. Michael Brackley, 26, an executive trainee at Pratley-Whiffer Marketing Consultants explained that he was in a group policy meeting on ma...
NEW YORK - The recent election of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for New York's 14th Congressional district has brought national attention to the role of politics in economic development. The Political Rock-Star "AOC" disrupted an astounding deal for Amazo...
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