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Funny story: Jane Goodall Opens A Chain Of Banana Shops

Jane Goodall Opens A Chain Of Banana Shops

Acclaimed monkey lady, Jane Goodall, has invested her life savings from monkeying around in Africa for all those years in a string of Banana Shops, after deciding there just aren't enough banana shoppes in the world. "I suppose we should have seen…

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Funny story: Shock as woman starts business NOT named after her children

Shock as woman starts business NOT named after her children

A woman has shocked the business community – and her fellow mumpreneurs – by starting a business and managing not to name it after her two children, our sources can reveal. Andrea Mumford, 34, founder of bespoke baby clothes and comforter brand B…

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Funny story: Firm announces new redesign to their gun toys to be more realistic for American kids

Firm announces new redesign to their gun toys to be more realistic for American kids

The famous toy company that makes fake guns Twerf™ just announced a new redesign for its new models specially made to American kids. "We are excited to show for the first time our redesign to the popular Twerf Guns. Kids don't like fake guns anymo…

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Funny story: Companies starting to email people again

Companies starting to email people again

Although they have forgotten about you completely for the past 16 months, companies are starting to email you again. 'It was quite a shock' said Brian Asshat 'The organisation I used to volunteer at before lock-down has sent me an email, asking me…

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Funny story: Trump thwarted multiple sexual advances by pillow guy Mike Lindell

Trump thwarted multiple sexual advances by pillow guy Mike Lindell

Pillow Guy Mike Lindell has had a few problems as of late, mostly legal and personal in nature it seems. The latest of his problems to come to light is he seems to have a physical attraction to former president Donald J. Trump. An observer close t…

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Funny story: Trae Young Has Been Given Full Ownership of the New York Knicks, Although It Seems Like He Took It

Trae Young Has Been Given Full Ownership of the New York Knicks, Although It Seems Like He Took It

New York Knicks owner James Dolan, who most people know from the Spike Lee incident at Madison Square Garden, has awarded full ownership of the team to Atlanta Hawks point guard Trae Young. This includes Madison Square Garden, all copyrights, and all…

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Funny story: Amazon Has Acquired the United States of America for an Undisclosed Amount. What More Could Bezos Need?

Amazon Has Acquired the United States of America for an Undisclosed Amount. What More Could Bezos Need?

Paramount, Universal, and Warner Brothers: these are just some of the film studios not owned by Amazon Inc. (yet). The United States of America, a lesser-known studio known for producing those highly-rated White House Covid-19 press conferences, was…

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Funny story: Expert Says 2021 Could Be Worse Than 2020

Expert Says 2021 Could Be Worse Than 2020

Just four short days into the new year, and a man who reckons he is a bit of an expert on such matters has said that it's entirely possible, by no great stretch of the imagination, that 2021 could eventually, by far, outstrip 2020 in its shitness.

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Funny story: 50% off meals will reinvigorate hospitality sector - but lardy lockdown bingers fear meals will simply be half size

50% off meals will reinvigorate hospitality sector - but lardy lockdown bingers fear meals will simply be half size

The government's post-Coronavirus strategy will support ailing restaurants and tackle the lockdown binging obesity crisis by providing half a meal, at full price, for fatties. ‘This government isn’t going to sit on its arse, we’ve got an appetit…

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Funny story: Forbes reveals the world's 10 richest people if the slave trade becomes legal again

Forbes reveals the world's 10 richest people if the slave trade becomes legal again

Usually, Forbes publishes the Top 10 lists of people that have more than you will ever dream of having, but this time they decided to make a list of the people that own you. 1) Jeff Bezos Yes...when you created your Amazon account, you didn’t rea...

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Funny story: Flybe To Offer New Service To Oblivion

Flybe To Offer New Service To Oblivion

Troubled UK airline, Flybe, in the midst of financial catastrophe, has, this morning, announced plans to offer passengers a new service with flights to an increasingly popular destination - Oblivion. The airline has crippling debts, and cannot loo...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Dresses to Impress on Casual Fridays

Nashville Woman Dresses to Impress on Casual Fridays

While some of her coworkers might give her odd looks when she shows up in a fitted blouse and business skirt on casual Fridays at the office, Lara Revolinski has a plan in mind. "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have," is the motto adop...

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Funny story: Spirograph Bistro Opens

Spirograph Bistro Opens

In Orpington, retired multi-millionaire, Colin Powell Montgomery Ablitt Smyth the third, has just opened a Spirograph bistro. Following on from the news that Kevin Wilkes, a 24-year-old hipster from Chutney-on-the-Fritz has opened an etch-a-sketch...

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Funny story: Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Geneva: This afternoon, drug manufacturer Hoffman La Roche, most notably famous for bringing the wildly popular pharmaceutical Lysergic acid diethylamide to market (we all know it as LSD, windowpane, double domes, etc.), announced the formation of a...

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Funny story: Man Decides To Become A Qualified Accountant, But Then...

Man Decides To Become A Qualified Accountant, But Then...

Aimlessly perusing an online news website, this morning, a man was confronted with an advertisement that invited him to become a Qualified Accountant, so he decided he would look further into the lucrative prospect. Moys Kenwood, 55, quickly cli...

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Funny story: New York Man Finally Catches on that Coworker Isn't Talking to Him

New York Man Finally Catches on that Coworker Isn't Talking to Him

It took a while, but Trace Nelson of New York City eventually realized that his coworker Jennifer Friedman had been pointedly ignoring him for over six months. "I think I must have accidentally offended her in some way," said Trace. "No clue how,...

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Funny story: Drug Company Introduces Roundup-Ready Aspirin

Drug Company Introduces Roundup-Ready Aspirin

Appealing to gardeners and parents alike, an international drug company recently introduced its new "Roundup-ready" baby aspirin, which will not only reduce the risk of clot-related strokes in those who take it, but will also provide protection again...

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