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Funny satire stories about Love

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Seeks Move-in Ready Man

Nashville Woman Seeks Move-in Ready Man

"No more fixer-uppers," said Cassandra Wilshire of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding her search for the man of her dreams, or at least one open to offers in her price range. "Move-in ready is what I'm looking for." Wilshire's search for love has led...

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Funny story: Women Likely to Overestimate Existence of Relationship Based on Superfluous Factors Like Words

Women Likely to Overestimate Existence of Relationship Based on Superfluous Factors Like Words

A groundbreaking new report from the Social Media Intimacy Foundation revealed that women are highly prone to overestimate the existence of a romantic relationship based on superfluous factors like words. "Our first clue was when fifty-one percent...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Announces Wedding Plans

Harry Maguire Announces Wedding Plans

There's love, romance, matrimony and feverish expectancy in the air throughout the South Yorkshire region tonight, as the Manchester United and England £80million central defender, Harry Maguire, took some time out from football to announce the weddi...

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Funny story: Dear Cynical Sam: An Advice Column

Dear Cynical Sam: An Advice Column

The following are letters from Cynical Sam's readers. Both of them. Dear Cynical Sam, This is the seventh letter I've written you about this, and you have never answered. So here I go again. My husband Harold and I went for a drive three mo...

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Funny story: Garage Attendant Appreciates Daily Greeting from Beautiful Pontiac Owner but Desperately Longs for More

Garage Attendant Appreciates Daily Greeting from Beautiful Pontiac Owner but Desperately Longs for More

Downtown Nashville parking garage attendant, Lance Marsden, used to enjoy the "Good morning!", "Fancy seeing you here!", and other cheerful daily greetings offered up by a beautiful Pontiac owner, but finds that he has increasingly come to long for m...

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Funny story: Could American Politics Create Hyper-Alternate Quantum Vortex?

Could American Politics Create Hyper-Alternate Quantum Vortex?

Geneva, Switzerland - CERN scientists at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) often study the most extreme states which can exist in the fabric of reality. Particle behavior within super-massive black holes ceases to fit the Proton-Electron model that all...

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Funny story: Single Woman Encouraged that She’s No Lonelier on Her 45th Birthday than She Was on Her 25th

Single Woman Encouraged that She’s No Lonelier on Her 45th Birthday than She Was on Her 25th

Single woman Natasha Friedrich of Brooklyn, New York, who recently celebrated a pleasant if somewhat lonely forty-fifth birthday by going out to lunch with a female friend, was heartened to realize that, in fact, she’d been just as lonely on her twen...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Takes a Licking from Relentless Black Cat

Nashville Woman Takes a Licking from Relentless Black Cat

Melanie Meadows of Nashville, Tennessee, recently took a licking from a relentless black cat named Sammy. "He was unstoppable," said Meadows of the panther-like feline who slunk up unnoticed as she stepped out of the shower early one morning. "And...

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Funny story: Man Says There's No Scientific Basis Behind 'She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not'

Man Says There's No Scientific Basis Behind 'She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not'

A man who knows about stuff like this, has said there is absolutely no scientific basis whatsoever behind the ages-old petal-pulling decision-making theory of "She loves me, she loves me not..." The practice of pulling individual petals from a...

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Funny story: Jilted Kim Jong Un Fires Missiles Out of Sexual Frustration Over Trump

Jilted Kim Jong Un Fires Missiles Out of Sexual Frustration Over Trump

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un ordered the launch of missiles in an impromptu assault exercise. Un's strike drill involved a grand total of 540 missiles and rockets. Kim reportedly ordered the exercise to increase combat ability. But everyone...

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Funny story: Lonely College Student Sincerely Hopes He Can Find Controlling Woman To Completely Destroy His Life Upon Graduation

Lonely College Student Sincerely Hopes He Can Find Controlling Woman To Completely Destroy His Life Upon Graduation

Jefferson County, Wisconsin. Soul-crushing despair and unfathomable depression penetrated the highly-sensitive heart of Brad Williams on Thursday, April 18th, at 7:45 pm while he was trying to read a Sociology textbook in his dorm room. Confuse...

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Funny story: Man Who Listened To Kraftwerk Song Can't Get It Out Of His Mind

Man Who Listened To Kraftwerk Song Can't Get It Out Of His Mind

A man who was listening to music through the YouTube channel on his computer, inadvertently stumbled upon a song by the German electronic synthesizer pioneers, Kraftwerk, and now can't get the tune out of his head! The song, 'Computer Love' (1981)...

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Funny story: College Student Has Difficulty Preparing For Sociology Exam While Roommate Pleases His Ex-Girlfriend Directly Behind Him

College Student Has Difficulty Preparing For Sociology Exam While Roommate Pleases His Ex-Girlfriend Directly Behind Him

University of Northern Iowa student, Brad Smith, 20, had difficulty studying for his Sociology exam last Tuesday while his roommate was pounding his ex-girlfriend across the room. After hearing painful statements from the love of his life such a...

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Funny story: Blindsided: NY Woman Learns Blind Boyfriend Not That Blind - and Has Been Seeing Someone Else

Blindsided: NY Woman Learns Blind Boyfriend Not That Blind - and Has Been Seeing Someone Else

Meghan Larson of disability-friendly New York City was devastated to learn that her blind boyfriend, Lance, wasn't that blind - and had been seeing another woman for over a year. "They say love is blind, and it was literally true in my case," sai...

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Funny story: Men Everywhere Truly Embracing Valentine’s Day

Men Everywhere Truly Embracing Valentine’s Day

No longer considering it a contrived, commercially-motivated holiday to be observed solely out of obligation, men everywhere have come to truly embrace Valentine’s Day, indicates a recent nationwide poll. One Valentine's Day enthusiast, Harold Bro...

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Funny story: Man's Unwelcome Guest Had Cheapfucker Imitation Bag

Man's Unwelcome Guest Had Cheapfucker Imitation Bag

In a story published earlier on these pages regarding a man who had to endure an unwanted female houseguest, due to his wife's kindness, I had intended to mention the woman's possessions were stored in a cheapfucker adidas-imitation bag, but I forgot...

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Funny story: Right Wing Guru Who Proposed Enforced Monogamy Wonders Why Women Don't Attend His Lectures

Right Wing Guru Who Proposed Enforced Monogamy Wonders Why Women Don't Attend His Lectures

Toronto - Conservative self-help author and lecturer Jordan Peterson, who has advocated a return to a patriarchal society, and preached against the evils of feminism and liberalism, wondered aloud on a recent talk show why his lectures were attended...

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