London - (Sassy Ass Mess): A Westminster purveyor of knobs and knocker knock-offs has rolled out its eagerly-anticipated 2019 brass neck collection from the revamped Douchesse de Corbin street door range. Douchesse is thought to have been named a...
Chester, PA. (WTFM) -- Early this morning, while digging a shallow grave intended to be the final resting place for his latest victim, serial killer Derek Flatt uncovered a shallow grave containing a victim of serial killer, Justin Crabwell. Crabwe...
Young "incel" men, bitter and disillusioned by the discovery that they "can't get laid in a whorehouse", will soon be able to get laid for half price at any whorehouse in the state of Nevada, beginning this August. "We're doing this as a public se...
In honor of Earth Day, Pentagon officials decided to tell the American people the truth for once. In a special report that was temporarily declassified for only 24 hours, the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces admitted that most of money supp...
But, alas: Heather Coon, the musician and also an M20 spy who was deported from Syria in 2010 after pleading guilty to conspiracy charges, is now being accused of engaging in a psychological war against Russian leader Adrik Vartanyan. She has bee...
Not that many people dream of becoming prostitutes. People don't have a favorable attitude of the worlds oldest profession. Many countries ban the act while others allow it in specific locations or only under certain circumstance. Is prostitution...
Global prostitutes who have no desire to work in organised brothels are turning to Internet giant, Airb&b (name changed for legal implications), for offering their clients a cheap "quickie" without strings attached, only tangas if required! La...
Trenton, NJ (Fox News): The New Jersey legislature has sent back to committee a bill that provides the opportunity for ugly hookers to apply for state jobless benefits. The bill, H6901, added "Ugly Hooker" to the list of occupations eligible to a...
With concerns among liberals of mass deportations in the near future, a surprise announcement was made today by the White House staffing officials concerning an approved influx of legal immigrants coming to the United States. Described in the pre...
New York, New York - Proving to the world once again that he is, indeed, still alive, crooner Tony Bennett releases the 500th Christmas album in his nauseating yule tide collection. This latest one is called, I'm A Christmas Whore - There, I Said It!...
Associated Press, by Manny Jack Moe --Republican leaders House Speaker Paul Ryan, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus have opened a house of ill repute near the famous Chicken Ranch in Nevada.
The worlds oldest and the worlds most odious professions have met in Cleveland and the result has been a windfall for the worlds oldest. Sex worker Lydia Kidder, not her real name, explains why the business for prostitutes was so good this year a...
The 'Fellatio Cafe', set to open in Geneva, Switzerland, by end of the year, will allow its customers to order a coffee before choosing a prostitute on their iPads. Men will have to pay more than £40 for the hot, robust drink and lascivious sex act,...
Men traveling to Brazil for the Olympics this summer breathed a sigh of relief today. A crackdown on hookers with braces in Rio de Janeiro rounded up 170 mostly female sex workers sporting the dangerous dental devices. Brazilian Director Of Touris...
According to a recent interview with Spoof News, Julian Assange has stated his relief at being able to look out the window and see no sign of police around the embassy. He stated that the shock of this development is only gradually wearing off. Fo...
"Escort" Services- A whore by any other name is just a whore. Call girls, prostitutes, hookers, etc., their all the same, although rates may vary according to how respectful, or slutty, the particular title is that they use. But no matter what their title is, they screw 25 guys a day so wear a condom. It's always funny to see a guy fall in love with a whore, thinking he's her only boyfr...
Labour peer Baron Sewel, of Gilcomstoun in the District of the City of Aberdeen, has resigned from the House of Lords after footage of him allegedly snorting cocaine and entertaining prostitutes, while definitely wearing a fetching bra and leather ja...
Santa Cruz, California - 79 year old Santa Cruz resident Harry Rider discounted as "irrelevant" his personal habits in explaining a recent hospitalization. Mr. Rider was rushed to the hospital early yesterday morning after having smoked a gram of...
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