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Funny satire stories about Panda

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Funny story: Panda meat salesmen struggling to survive

Panda meat salesmen struggling to survive

Fung Ho has sold panda meat at the Nanchong exotic market every day for the last 30 years. But recently he has found that customers are avoiding his delicacies. "Ever since colonavilus, nobody want buy panda," said Fung. "I have panda flesh, flesh...

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Funny story: Chinese Takeaway Menu

Chinese Takeaway Menu

Pig Dishes 1. Deep Fried Pig Trotter.......3.50 2. Deep Fried Pig Tail............4.00 3. Deep Fried Pig Ear............4.00 4. Deep Fried Pig Snout........6.00 5. Deep Fried Pig Belly..........4.00 6. Deep Fried Pig Anus..........6.00 7. De...

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Funny story: Bao Bao the Bear is exiled to China!

Bao Bao the Bear is exiled to China!

Washington Zoo have announced the sad departure of Bao Bao, a female panda bear, after it was discovered she did not have a green card. The US government are deporting all entertainers, animal, or human who reside in the US, but whose origins are not...

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Funny story: Scottish Pandas are really hi and lo

Scottish Pandas are really hi and lo

The Pandas at Edinburgh zoo are not the rare Chinese bear like animals after all. Suspicion grew when it was noticed the two pandas who were sharing a meal of bamboo shoots, were both using chopsticks. When the Pandas were asked to remove the...

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Funny story: Edinburgh Zoo's panda on medical marijuana program after 'losing' cub

Edinburgh Zoo's panda on medical marijuana program after 'losing' cub

Edinburgh, Scotland - Feckless time-wasting panda Tian Tian has been accused of faking yet another pregnancy despite a certificate of fecundity from keepers at Shanghai Zoo from which she is on loan. Scottish veterinarians had become convinced the...

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Funny story: Red Panda Explains Timeout from the National Zoo

Red Panda Explains Timeout from the National Zoo

On Monday morning when Rusty, the red panda (he looks sort of like a raccoon) was reported missing, many assumed that he was displeased with his accommodations at the National Zoo in Wash., DC. Not so. To counteract the incorrect assumption, once Rusty was returned to the zoo later in the day, he contacted a reporter at TheSpoof.com, Gail Farrelly (she's an expert in panda parlance), to...

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Funny story: Chris Brown in trouble over Panda Comments

Chris Brown in trouble over Panda Comments

Chris Brown shared a photo of himself posing with a Panda on his Twitter feed on Sunday. Members to 'Team Breezy' thought the image was cute but some women's groups have criticized the image as well as the caption which read 'Cutest looking woman I'v...

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Funny story: Zoo pandas refuse to shag without Marriage of Figaro 'or Cosy Fanny Totty'

Zoo pandas refuse to shag without Marriage of Figaro 'or Cosy Fanny Totty'

Edinburgh - Keepers at Edinburgh Zoo's panda house are to play recordings of Mozart operas to put Yang Guang and Tian Tian in the mood for a Passion Week shag. According to years of Chinese breeding experience classical music has a strong affect o...

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Funny story: Badger Cull Blamed on Panda

Badger Cull Blamed on Panda

A Dorking vet called Barry Badger was arrested yesterday following the suspicious death of Mrs Gertie Grimbottom, 67, of Dorking. Mrs Grimbottom was taken to the vet by her grandson Herbert, 11, who asked to have her put down. Badger initially ref...

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Funny story: More Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh

More Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh

A shock report has announced today that research has shown that there are now more Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh. As Tian Tian the panda eats her panda cake in her enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo on Christmas Day academics have made it clear that t...

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Funny story: Chinese Giant Panda Shock

Chinese Giant Panda Shock

The Pandas, exported from China to Scotland on a trial marriage, have shocked their zoo keepers by saying they do want any 'hanky panky' because everyone is watching them. Zoo keeper Angus McTavish feared the experiment in getting the Pandas to ma...

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Funny story: China denies that The Pandas are Spies

China denies that The Pandas are Spies

Chinese Premier Hu Jintao has vehemently denied that the two Pandas being lent to Japan as a good will gesture will bring up the Senkaku Islands which are disputed between the two ancient civilisations. Premier Hu reiterated while boarding his bud...

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Funny story: Heidi the crosseyed opossum star of Leipzig Zoo

Heidi the crosseyed opossum star of Leipzig Zoo

Born in the USA and via Denmark, Heidi has become an Internet sensation. She's crosseyed and an Opossum but will give those Giant Pandas, destined for Edinburgh Zoo a good run in the popularity stakes. heidi She's so cute and endearing, she might even be as big a star as Knut, the polar bear or Paul the Octopus. Perhaps Heidi will pick the winners of future World Cup, or will her eyes deceiv...

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Funny story: Blackburn Rovers frustrated at missing out on panda signing

Blackburn Rovers frustrated at missing out on panda signing

Blackburn Rovers Venky group owners have expressed frustration at losing out in their pursuit of a giant panda who shunned the advances of the Lancashire club in favour of a move to minnows Edinburgh Zoo. The club had hoped to make Yangguang their...

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Funny story: China hoaxes Edinburgh Zoo with two men in black and white furry panda suits

China hoaxes Edinburgh Zoo with two men in black and white furry panda suits

Scotland - (Pandering To Them): Panda Diplomacy took a new twist today with the donation to Edinburgh Zoo of 'two breeding Chinese males' dressed in fluffy panda suits. The outfits are identical to those worn by keepers in Shendong Panda Reserve's...

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Funny story: Chinese panda-bear moves to Scotland because she loves bagpipe music!

Chinese panda-bear moves to Scotland because she loves bagpipe music!

China has released the news that one of their precious panda-bears, Tian Tian, is to be moved to a Zoo in Scotland. The reason for this astonishing move is that Tian Tian only gets "turned on" when she hears bagpipes playing. It seems that Scottis...

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Funny story: New Forest Lapland park owners 'could have made £1m'

New Forest Lapland park owners 'could have made £1m'

A Lapland park in the New Forest promised a winter wonderland but visitors instead found fairy lights strewn across trees and a broken ice rink, a court has heard. Brothers Victor Mears, 67, and Henry Mears, 60, deny misleading thousands of customers...

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