The president of fascist commie China, Xi, has finally been found! He was on The Masked Singer! Dressed as a panda, of course. He sang, “I Did It All For The Nookie” (which would become ironic shortly after the show) and got a standing ovation…
The fascist dick-tater of China known as Shi-Ding-Dong arrived in Hong Kong to avow his reign of terror over whatever remaining Hong Kong people are left. “I promise you I will never let you know democracy – as you did under British rule – ever ag…
Fung Ho has sold panda meat at the Nanchong exotic market every day for the last 30 years. But recently he has found that customers are avoiding his delicacies. "Ever since colonavilus, nobody want buy panda," said Fung. "I have panda flesh, flesh...
Pig Dishes 1. Deep Fried Pig Trotter.......3.50 2. Deep Fried Pig Tail............4.00 3. Deep Fried Pig Ear............4.00 4. Deep Fried Pig Snout........6.00 5. Deep Fried Pig Belly..........4.00 6. Deep Fried Pig Anus..........6.00 7. De...
Washington Zoo have announced the sad departure of Bao Bao, a female panda bear, after it was discovered she did not have a green card. The US government are deporting all entertainers, animal, or human who reside in the US, but whose origins are not...
The Pandas at Edinburgh zoo are not the rare Chinese bear like animals after all. Suspicion grew when it was noticed the two pandas who were sharing a meal of bamboo shoots, were both using chopsticks. When the Pandas were asked to remove the...
Edinburgh, Scotland - Feckless time-wasting panda Tian Tian has been accused of faking yet another pregnancy despite a certificate of fecundity from keepers at Shanghai Zoo from which she is on loan. Scottish veterinarians had become convinced the...
On Monday morning when Rusty, the red panda (he looks sort of like a raccoon) was reported missing, many assumed that he was displeased with his accommodations at the National Zoo in Wash., DC. Not so. To counteract the incorrect assumption, once Rusty was returned to the zoo later in the day, he contacted a reporter at TheSpoof.com, Gail Farrelly (she's an expert in panda parlance), to...
Chris Brown shared a photo of himself posing with a Panda on his Twitter feed on Sunday. Members to 'Team Breezy' thought the image was cute but some women's groups have criticized the image as well as the caption which read 'Cutest looking woman I'v...
Edinburgh - Keepers at Edinburgh Zoo's panda house are to play recordings of Mozart operas to put Yang Guang and Tian Tian in the mood for a Passion Week shag. According to years of Chinese breeding experience classical music has a strong affect o...
A Dorking vet called Barry Badger was arrested yesterday following the suspicious death of Mrs Gertie Grimbottom, 67, of Dorking. Mrs Grimbottom was taken to the vet by her grandson Herbert, 11, who asked to have her put down. Badger initially ref...
A shock report has announced today that research has shown that there are now more Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh. As Tian Tian the panda eats her panda cake in her enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo on Christmas Day academics have made it clear that t...
The Pandas, exported from China to Scotland on a trial marriage, have shocked their zoo keepers by saying they do want any 'hanky panky' because everyone is watching them. Zoo keeper Angus McTavish feared the experiment in getting the Pandas to ma...
Chinese Premier Hu Jintao has vehemently denied that the two Pandas being lent to Japan as a good will gesture will bring up the Senkaku Islands which are disputed between the two ancient civilisations. Premier Hu reiterated while boarding his bud...
Born in the USA and via Denmark, Heidi has become an Internet sensation. She's crosseyed and an Opossum but will give those Giant Pandas, destined for Edinburgh Zoo a good run in the popularity stakes. heidi She's so cute and endearing, she might even be as big a star as Knut, the polar bear or Paul the Octopus. Perhaps Heidi will pick the winners of future World Cup, or will her eyes deceiv...
Blackburn Rovers Venky group owners have expressed frustration at losing out in their pursuit of a giant panda who shunned the advances of the Lancashire club in favour of a move to minnows Edinburgh Zoo. The club had hoped to make Yangguang their...
Scotland - (Pandering To Them): Panda Diplomacy took a new twist today with the donation to Edinburgh Zoo of 'two breeding Chinese males' dressed in fluffy panda suits. The outfits are identical to those worn by keepers in Shendong Panda Reserve's...
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