Funny story: Trump's Fourth Of July Celebrations To Be "Astronomically Expensive"

Trump's Fourth Of July Celebrations To Be "Astronomically Expensive"

The annual fourth of July celebrations, commemorating the Declaration of Independence of the United States on July 4, 1776, have always been celebrated on its anniversary, and this year will be no different. One major difference this year, howeve...

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Funny story: US ratchets up defense against Iran with advertising campaigns into the disputed area

US ratchets up defense against Iran with advertising campaigns into the disputed area

Anonymous sources at the State Department indicate a new campaign is underway to encourage resolution of conflicts—via advertising and subtle messages. The targets start with Iran, with extension of the new scheme to Venezuela and North Korea bei...

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Funny story: Independence Day And What It Means For The Rest Of The World

Independence Day And What It Means For The Rest Of The World

'Independence Day', the 1996 movie about aliens from a distant galaxy who attempt to attack planet Earth, and both destroy and annihilate the world's population to death during the 4th of July celebrations, is to be shown on TV screens across the Uni...

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Funny story: Trump and Kim at the DMZ take naked dip together to celebrate friendship

Trump and Kim at the DMZ take naked dip together to celebrate friendship

Guard Dog News has learned Mr. Trump’s recent trip to meet Kim Jong Un in Korea's Demilitarized Zone had its exotic side. In a surprise development, Mr. Trump stopped off yesterday on the way home from the G20 Summit to visit Mr. Kim. Mr. Trump...

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Funny story: The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...

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Funny story: Whirling dwarfs and drummer parade led by Snarlin’ Senator Graham again set for US tour

Whirling dwarfs and drummer parade led by Snarlin’ Senator Graham again set for US tour

Once again the chant of “war with Iran, war with Iran, war with Iran” has besieged the US landscape. Communities throughout America can expect the Whirling Dwarfs Parade with their incessant chanting to sweep through town all summer long. Senat...

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Funny story: Trump Says Iran "Unlucky", And Blames Luke Rhinehart's Book

Trump Says Iran "Unlucky", And Blames Luke Rhinehart's Book

President Donald Trump has said that Iran was just "unlucky" having had war declared upon itself by the US, and, had he rolled anything other than a 6, might have escaped the coming conflict, but that's just how the cookie crumbles. Trump was twee...

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Funny story: Iran Retaliates By Asking People To Remove Sandals

Iran Retaliates By Asking People To Remove Sandals

President Donald Trump may have 'bitten off more than he can chew' this time, after news emerged from inside Iran that the regime there had encouraged Iranian nationals - and other Arab sympathizers - to remove their sandals as a reaction to US aggre...

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Funny story: D-Day Commemoration On Wrong Day This Year

D-Day Commemoration On Wrong Day This Year

The annual D-day commemoration, the event that commemorates the day the massed Allied Forces invaded mainland Europe and made an absolute fortune for weapons manufacturers, is to be held on the wrong day this year, on the 5th of June. The Normandy...

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Funny story: Pence’s first draft of West Point speech “you will fight on a battlefield at some point” hacked

Pence’s first draft of West Point speech “you will fight on a battlefield at some point” hacked

The hacker group Orwellophiles-'R-Us has disclosed an early draft of Vice President Pence’s Memorial Day speech to cadets at West Point. In the final version of his speech he promised grim-faced cadets: “You will fight on a battlefield for America...

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Funny story: Bolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel

Bolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel

National Security Advisor John Bolton has had his way over North Korea’s objections to the current “Maximum Thunder” joint exercises with South Korea. Mr. Bolton insists that scheduling the current exercises despite the North-South Koreas’ recent...

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Funny story: Trump and Khamenei get down to it incognito in Club Methuselah

Trump and Khamenei get down to it incognito in Club Methuselah

Looser Guccifer 2.O has just released (via NSA files) a recent meeting between the two leaders in a dank underground club in New York. These leaders must pose as very tough for their people, who look to them to be unflinching and very cool--versus...

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Funny story: Trump sits with hand on phone waiting for call from Iran

Trump sits with hand on phone waiting for call from Iran

In an interview with The Guard Dog at The White House, Mr. Trump said, "All they have to do is call me,” Mr. Trump said. The phone was in his lap at this point. The Guard Dog then asked: “But, sir, there are reports all over mainstream media to...

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Funny story: North Korean Missile Lands In Man's Back Garden

North Korean Missile Lands In Man's Back Garden

A man in the Battambang commune of Tapon has told of how he and his family were rudely awoken on Sunday morning, after a missile originating from North Korea landed in the back garden of his property. Moys Kenwood, 55, was shaken from his slumbers...

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Funny story: Globus militaris interruptus wreaks tsunami-like havoc in Washington

Globus militaris interruptus wreaks tsunami-like havoc in Washington

President Trump’s decision to withdraw from Syria and drawdown in Afghanistan, has the nation’s capitol in a near state of paralysis. Even FOX News has turned on the President with accusations he is “refounding ISIS.” A hullabaloo of protest ha...

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Funny story: Trump “tempers” Bolton and Pompeo in special White House ops

Trump “tempers” Bolton and Pompeo in special White House ops

Last week Mr. Trump indicated that at times he must “temper” Mr. Bolton’s enthusiasm for threatening other countries. He stated that “John is a good man," while adding a “but” that, fortunately, at times Mr. Trump needs to control him and calm him...

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Funny story: Man Watched 'Das Boot', And Felt As If He Were Suffocating

Man Watched 'Das Boot', And Felt As If He Were Suffocating

A man who watched a movie about a World War II submarine and its crew, has revealed how he started to feel claustraphobic, and had trouble breathing, at certain points in the film. Moys Kenwood, 55, purchased a 2-DVD copy of Wolfgang Petersen's cl...

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Funny story: Los Tres Cojones Trio at The White House confesses anomaly; US doctors indicate requests for implants now viral

Los Tres Cojones Trio at The White House confesses anomaly; US doctors indicate requests for implants now viral

What has long been the mystery of a male’s having three testicles, instead of two, has suddenly reached new stages of revelation. At this time sweeping Twitter, a startling development has occurred in the Trump administration, hitherto tightly gua...

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Funny story: Toxic masculinity conference studies short skirts and male hands

Toxic masculinity conference studies short skirts and male hands

The latest concern on male toxicity (homo toxicitus) focuses on male sexuality as somehow related, leading to a myriad of new theories. The essential question is: What is “the real man”? Versus “the toxic man”? The male toxicity thesis: males...

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Funny story: Trump meets Kim on his yacht in the East Sea surrounded by aircraft carriers

Trump meets Kim on his yacht in the East Sea surrounded by aircraft carriers

Breaking: Following the recent triumphant meeting of Moon Jae-in and Kim Jong Un, leaders of South and North Korea, Mr. Trump has flown to Mr. Kim’s yacht in the East Sea for further negotiations. Mr. Trump is aboard Mr. Kim’s yacht, The Kim Il-Su...

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