American Army General, Lex Von Killbot, has suggested that America may need to engage in a balloon war with China and Russia and other enemies.
“We need balloons in the air over Moscow and helping the Ukrainians win their struggle. I want balloons over China twenty-four seven – I don’t want them to see the sky! They want a balloon fight, I’ll blow ‘em up myself! Where’s them Zeppelins they once had? I think they was called Led Zeppelins, was it? Get me Phileas Fogg on the line!”
Tough, delirious talk, but it’s made many senators from the GOP rabid for a fight.
“We ain’t done fought no one nowhere for too long! Has it been five years and no war? I don’t mean Yemen and Syria and the other Arab states – that’s just business as usual, they don’t count, everyone knows, that’s why no one protesting our genocides in those countries. Erase that part, will ya?”
Russians have not commented directly, but an ex-Russian general once loyal to Putin before he “woke himself up” has said, “Putin already thought of that. Is stupid idea. Chinese are stupid for doing that. It’s just a little sabre-rattling over Taiwan. Balloons! I scoff at such stupid war monger idea. Now balloons filled with poison gas before exploding over enemy territory – now that’s better idea. Hang on, I have to call Putin … I mean, someone else who also does not still work as double spy for Putin. Excuse please.”
The Chinese have said: “Balloon? What’s a balloon?”
One thing’s for sure, the sky sure will be a lot prettier with all those gorgeous balloons blowing up everywhere and spying on everyone. Reminds me of the surveillance balloons used during World War 1. Old ideas can still be good ideas … to militaries desperate to try anything.
The Chinese may even think of a new way to use a spear or a bow and arrow! Fun times ahead!
