White House clarifies 'We are not at war with Islam' speech

Funny story written by Mark James

Thursday, 9 April 2009

image for White House clarifies 'We are not at war with Islam' speech
Harmless cherries or Islamic death balls?

The White House moved to quell domestic fears about the softening approach of President Obama over the War on Terror. Following a speech in Europe in which he said 'We are not at war with Islam', politicians and activists in America have attacked Obama for his 'weakness' and 'surrender mentality'.

However, White House War on Terror Spokesman, Dave bin Liner, speaking at a hastily arranged press conference that the President's words had 'been taken completely out of context by America's enemies within'.

'What is clear and what has always been clear is that America does not have a policy of being at war with Islam. However, the people of America can be safe in the knowledge that we are at war with Islamic people.'

When questioned about the difference between the two, bin Liner said 'Islam is a religion, Islamic people are people who believe in Islam. It is completely different. I cannot believe you are questioning this. You are obviously a terrorist.'

At that point, three members of the press corps were removed from the briefing and could later be heard screaming from a far away room.

Bin Liner went on, 'The White House recognises that not all Islamic people are terrorists. However, extensive research using a number of online sources, including Wikipedia, shows us that those who are not terrorists are communists. So it's a no brainer for us to finish off the lot of them. And we are big on no brainers in the defense community.'

Repeated requests for further information on the seized journalists have been ignored by the White House.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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