JP Morgan Won't Sleep with the Attorney General Fishes
I needed a bank loan but I didn’t know whether I should go to a bank or to my local mafia boss. The mafia guy was pretty upfront about it. “If youse don’t give me my money back with interest, you’ll be sleeping with the fishes.” I like fish, so…
Read full storyWhere the Hell Iz America?
A new game show is in the works, where Americans will pit their intelligence against people from around the world. The show is called: “Where the Hell?” Contestants will be shown a map of the world and then be asked certain questions. The Ameri…
Read full storyWielding the Corn Cob Gavel Fer A Merica!
Nancy Pelosi’s gavel has been retired. She was such a good Speaker of the House that many agree that no one can or should wield it after her. This makes even more sense when the world watches how Kevin McCarthy can’t even get elected as Speaker by…
Read full storyAnd In This Corner … Hakeem Jefferies … Jefferies …
And in this corner … the Italian Stallion … Rocky … Baaaaalboa … boa … He’s a wrecking machine! Get in there, Rock! He ain’t getting’ beat – he’s getting mad! And so forth … that would be a fun fight to watch, but, alas, it was only a movie.
Read full storyNazi Pope Having a 1000 Year Party in Hell
Well, the Nazi Pope is dead. Will he rise from the grave to become a zombie Pope? Only time will tell. Did you know that when a Pope dies, they hit him in the head with a hammer (blessed, of course) to see if the smack wakes him up. (If the wit…
Read full storySelling Body Parts By The Pound
Do you have too many body parts? Maybe your legs or arms sometimes get in the way? Well, friend and commodity, you have to worry no longer! In Colorado, home of Lauren Boebert (so you know it’s a goooood state), there are a mom and daughter team w…
Read full storyTrump - U.S. Giving too Much Financial Aid to Ukraine - This Hurts Friend 'Vlad'
News sources report that recently at a speaking event - Trump said that if re-elected he would give no military aid to Europe or Ukraine - even if Russia attacked Europe. When President - Trump spent money like Crazy. Billions in Tax cuts fo…
Read full storyWorld History in 10 Seconds - Basil Blathering - America Condemns Russia Stealing Crimea
It is well known that the American Militarily (with approval of an American President) - stole the Hawaiian Islands - and have never given them back - though the Natives want them back. And never paid Reparations. But America - in the Strong…
Read full storyWorld History in 10 Seconds by Boris Blathering - Britain Won't Give back Stolen Property
Britain militarily Stole many Countries and parts of Countries in its long illustrious History. Most have regained their Freedom. But Britain won't let Scotland become a free Democracy - and won't give back Gibraltar and the Falkland Island…
Read full storyWorld History in 10 Seconds with Boris Balthering - Israel's Holiest Place
Israel's holiest Place is Solomon's Temple in Jerusalem. Islam controls it and the Jews want it back. The Muslims built a Temple there - thousands of years after Solomon - and are playing Keep - Away. Not very Nice of the Kind, Sweet, Pea…
Read full storyThe Chicago Bears Will Be Refunding Season Ticket Holders 75% Of The Cost of Their Tickets
CHICAGO - (Sports Satire) - The owner of the Chicago Bears, Mrs. Virginia Halas McCaskey, has apologized to the Windy City fans who are Bears season tickets owners. The team that was once known as "The Monsters of The Midway," finished this season…
Read full storyPygmy Dwarf Sues NBA For “Height Discrimination”
BILLINGSGATE POST: During the 2022 NBA season, the average height of NBA players was 6’6”, which is 8 inches taller than the US average for males. The average height of a male Pygmy is about 5 feet. The world's shortest people are the Efe of Zaire,…
Read full storyDonald Trump and Elon Musk Are Both Crazy Ass Shitheads
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Karma can be a bitch, and in the case of suck buddies, Donald Trump and Elon Musk, Karma is a fucking bitch. Both fruit salads, as stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree calls the butt ball twins, noted that the douche bag…
Read full storyThe Houston Texans, Who Are The Worst Team In The NFL, Are Moving
HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - Jenny Jo Viper, a reporter with Sports Buzz has just broken the story that the NFL's bottom-dweller, the Houston Texans are moving to San Antonio. Texans owner Janice McNair, who is 86½, informed Sports Buzz that the te…
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