Do you have too many body parts? Maybe your legs or arms sometimes get in the way? Well, friend and commodity, you have to worry no longer!
In Colorado, home of Lauren Boebert (so you know it’s a goooood state), there are a mom and daughter team who can take the body parts from you (after you’re dead, of course, because otherwise, it would be unethical) and sell them for cash, cash, CASH!
Shirley Koch and her daughter, Megan Hess (Hess? Wasn’t there a Nazi named that? Pretty high up in the organization, I seem to recall) who once worked as Sunset Mesa Funeral Directors in Montrose, Colorado.
They would give the bereaved family an urn of fake ashes and keep the dead body parts for themselves to sell! To whom? That’s classified, but we hear the Chinese are in the market for anything that has flesh and may taste delicious with the right kind of sauce.
But they’re not doing it anymore because they got caught and are about to serve some seriously hard time. But what about the dead? What are those poor cadavers to do, and what about their families who may need the money? Can’t eat ashes, nor sell them, except maybe to witch doctors, but you just try and find a good one these days!
Well, kids, if you’ve ever wanted a cool job (and you LOVE horror movies), then there could be a career in the wings waiting for you to take charge and keep your saws and knives sharp and polished to a mirror shine!
Cut ‘em up and slap a price tag on ‘em! Capitalism at its best, once again.
