President Xi Gets the Full Monty Torture
President Xi has finally been arrested! (See photo, not doctored, every picture is worth a 1000 … never doubt your eyes). And though it wasn’t filmed, the sounded was recorded, and someone smuggled it out of China, so that we here at Foxy Lady New…
Read full storyChina Welcomes ALL Trans People to be Famous Actors
China has opened its doors to all trans people. Wow! You’d think they would hate anyone who’s different, but a spokeslady for Chinese theatre has said: “Oh no, we love men dressed as woman in Chinese theatre. When the trans people of the world com…
Read full storyThe Future of War: Pretty Balloons!
American Army General, Lex Von Killbot, has suggested that America may need to engage in a balloon war with China and Russia and other enemies. “We need balloons in the air over Moscow and helping the Ukrainians win their struggle. I want balloons…
Read full storyTrump’s 2024 Oval Office in Folsom Prison
Trump may be the first president to hold office from within Folsom Prison. Where Johnny Cash once sang, I believe. Insiders for Trump have said they still believe the disgraced former president will “rise to glory like Jesus” in 2024, even though…
Read full storyFireproof Flag for Keepin’ It Holy
Do you have a flag or a book that some people want to burn? Well here at Fireproof Flag, we have invented a new spray that will prevent fire from every licking your piece of cloth or piece of paper. Is your flag or book so important to you that yo…
Read full storyNothing to See When China Balloon Float Around World
Who wants China balloon? We make everything in world – and now we make balloon that can fly around the whole wide world! We can even make it go off-course and pretend we lose balloon, we no have control over it – we have air force and secret…
Read full storyPreacherman Hotchkiss Will Pray for Your Sorry Ass for $100
Are you a sinner? Of course you are, you piece of shit. But I, Preacherman Hotchkiss, will pray for you (and maybe more) for as low as $100 American cash. I do not, as yet, take credit cards or crypto. You may say, Preacherman Hotchkiss, how can y…
Read full storyMan is only the third paragraph of his novel
Although he planned to get his novel Paperclips finished by the end of the year, aspiring novelist Gary Johnson is only on the third paragraph of it and feels that he should get a move on, now that it is February. 'I don't know where January went'…
Read full storyKim Kardashian's Bodyguards Beat The Shit Out of 4 Hell's Angels Who Got Too Close To Miss Kim and Her Mama
LA BREA, California - (Satire News) - The eldest of the five sexy, big-assed Kardashian girls recently had lunch with her mom "Mama Kris," at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. As the two were eating their Fajita and Broccoli Pizza and drinking it down w…
Read full storyTrump Vows To Fight The Medicinal Heroin Charges
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The Palm Beach Gazette-Bulletin says that Mar-a-Lago resident Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, states empathically that he will fight the charges that he is addicted to medicinal heroin. The Alpha Beta News Agency learne…
Read full storyAndie Macdowell still hasn't noticed the rain
Film star Andie Macdowell still hasn't noticed the rain, it has been revealed. After first coming to fame in such films as Groundhog Day, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Tarzan, the one with Emilio Estevez, and various others, the actress still hasn'…
Read full storyCheryl Cole Says That The Haters Who Hate Her Can All Go To Fucking Hell
SOHO, England - (Satire News) - One of Great Britain's prettiest, sexiest, and smartest citizens has said that anynone who hates her can simply pee in their pants and go straight down to fucking hell, where Satan has a spot reserved for "Cheryl Cole…
Read full storyA Gorgeously Sexy Woman With The Biggest Pussy In Ohio Cannot Get A Date
CINCINNATI, Ohio - (Satire News) - Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo recently spoke on the phone with a 26-year-old woman, who is positively gorgeous. He notes that the law firm receptionist named Susie Periwinkle, told him that her pus…
Read full storyScotland Yard Has Found a Box of Personal Letters That Were Written From Queen Elizabeth To Piers Morgan
LONDON - (Satire News) - Buckingham Palace spokesperson Nigel Foote, has just commented that agents from Scotland Yard have uncovered a silver box of two dozen letters that were written by Queen Elizabeth to Donald Trump. The letters reportedly co…
Read full storyThe United Kingdom's 13th Portsmouth Infantry Regiment Returns to England
PORTSMOUTH, England - (Satire News) - The BBC has just been informed by Buckingham Palace that the 13th Portsmouth Infantry will be returning back from the frontlines in Ukraine. BBC reporter Oceana Figgly spoke with King Charles III, who informed…
Read full storyGuantanamo Prison - Non-Violent Cash Courier Prisoner - 'Dumped' after 20 Years
CCN reports the Cash 'Bag Man' for the terrorist group Al-Qaida has been released from Guantanamo Prison and is going to Belize. He carried money from one Group to another Al-Qaida Group 20 years ago. He has never yet been convicted a crime.
Read full storyRedneck Debate Between Trump And Biden
BILLINGSGATE POST: Comparisons are onerous. Good vs Evil. Dark vs Light. Chicken vs Egg. Quasimodo vs Esmeralda: We could go on and on. But with the future of the free World at stake, the 2024 battle between Trump and Biden for the Presidency o…
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