PORTSMOUTH, England - (Satire News) - The BBC has just been informed by Buckingham Palace that the 13th Portsmouth Infantry will be returning back from the frontlines in Ukraine.
BBC reporter Oceana Figgly spoke with King Charles III, who informed her that after taking heavy loses at The Battle of Lozova, the 13th needs to return for some much needed R and R.
Field Marshal Riggin Giggleswick stated that many of his troops have come down with the dreaded Desertorial Confuffi Flu, which attacks the human toenails and turns them into jelly.
King Charles III, noted that his personal chauffeur has a son who is a member of the 13th and he will be receiving a commendation medal for capturing 8 Russia soldiers single handedly.
