President Xi has finally been arrested! (See photo, not doctored, every picture is worth a 1000 … never doubt your eyes).
And though it wasn’t filmed, the sounded was recorded, and someone smuggled it out of China, so that we here at Foxy Lady News can bring you what the cops said and did to take down the fascist leader:
“On the ground – down down down – tase his testicles – kneel on his neck, punch, kick, burn with a lighter, fart in face, more electrodes – read him Mao’s poetry! Pick him up, long march old man – knock him down again – into a cold bath, not a sauna – let’s waterboard him – thank you, America, for inventing a new torture – you didn’t, but you’re so gooood at it! More testicles! Always testicles! George Floyd him! Now Madonna him! Vogue! Vogue! God, that’s an old reference! More testicles! Geez, Phil, you’re a little obsessed with the – fire ants in the ass! Oh god, I’mma gonna be sick … I can’t take watching the torture, it’s torture – more testicles! Enough already with the guy’s balls! They’re purple! What billiard ball is the purple one again? Now outside to be stoned – hey, that’s too Muslim and we hate them and those evil Uyghurs! Okay, play that screeching violin – now read some more poetry … god, this is tiring, want to call it a day? No? Why not? NO MORE TESTICLES!”
The recording went on for another 30 minutes, and it sounded as though the guards were tortured even more than their victim … who has still not been heard of for a while … his remains possibly floating on a balloon somewhere.
