SOHO, England - (Satire News) - One of Great Britain's prettiest, sexiest, and smartest citizens has said that anynone who hates her can simply pee in their pants and go straight down to fucking hell, where Satan has a spot reserved for "Cheryl Cole Haters."
Miss Cole, who sings, dances, stars in movies, and can even play the accordion with her feet, says she just lets the criticism roll off her like water off a duck's back.
British writer Grover Buck with Tickety Boo News recently interviewed the starlet and found her to be simply refreshing and sexier than the five Kardashian sisters combined.
SIDENOTE: Buck noted that Cheryl is a big fan of Queen Elizabeth, but she hates that arrogant, pompous woman who is married to Prince William (Kate Middleton).
