Do you have a flag or a book that some people want to burn?
Well here at Fireproof Flag, we have invented a new spray that will prevent fire from every licking your piece of cloth or piece of paper. Is your flag or book so important to you that you dance with it? Do you kiss it? Do you even know where it’s been? Do you say things like: “Don’t let the flag touch the ground! Fold it the correct way! Do not put that book on a lower shelf – or, God forbid – use it as a coaster!”
But have you and your theology geniuses and doctors of politics every wondered: if it burns, then surely your nation or your god isn’t very powerful preventing it from burning. Does your god control fire? No? Then I guess he isn’t all-powerful, what?
Not to worry: Fireproof Flag is powerful enough to prevent what your god cannot.
You may call us holy if you wish, and pray to us and – definitely – give us big donations! Please! We’re a struggling start-up and need the cash – just like a cult that needs to turn itself into a religion – with BIG CASH DONATIONS TAX-FREE!
Sorry, got off topic there, but Fireproof Flag will never let you down when you want something to not burn when the infidel puts the flame to it … which kinda makes us all infidels, don’t it?
