McDonalds In An Effort To Lure More Adult Males Will Be Hiring Hooter's Type Waitresses
CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - The largest hamburger chain in the world is concerned that 7% of their adult male patrons are no longer visiting the home of the Big Mac. A spokesperson for Mickey D's said that the company has hired one of the t…
Read full storyGuns Don’t Kill People, Unborn Fetuses Do
An unborn fetus packing an AR-15 was spotted running out of its mother’s vagina trailing its umbilical cord, tugging mama with it, as it attempted a second try at killing Supreme Court “Just Us”, Brett “Frat Boy Slim” Kavanaugh. But Kavanaugh just…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Has Just Stated That She'll Retire On Her 100th Birthday!
LONDON - (Satire News) - In news that has shocked the entire civilized world; and even parts of the uncivilized world, chit chat coming out of Buckingham Palace confirms that her majesty, Queen Elizabeth will in fact step down as queen on her 100th b…
Read full storyBritish computers will get old-fashioned connections instead of USB C ones, like the Europeans, in a bid to preserve our sovereignty from them wascally wascals in Bwussels
The British government announced that we won’t be following the EU’s lead in updating new computer equipment to have USB C ports. Hurray! As everyone knows, USB C ports are an evil plot by the anti-British European Parliament to make things ea…
Read full storyMonkeypox - The Mask Is Not Enough!
San Fransisco; CA: An unnamed Oregon woman was visiting the San Fransisco area to take in the rich human diversity she's always adored. "I've always obeyed what I term the {Australian gold standard of Covid precautions-} this stupid backward raci…
Read full storyDeSantis: “We Don’t Care that Legacy Media Tell the Truth”
Possible 2024 presidential candidate Ron DeSantis lectured the “legacy media” today. Flanked by his talented press secretary, Christina Pushaw, the Florida governor blasted “mainstream reporters for telling the truth.” DeSantis erupted after the…
Read full storyI Get a CO2 High Now When I Go For My Daily Walk
I feel lightheaded when I do my daily walk now, here in Florida. I just sort of bounce along, feeling happy, and giggly. It is almost like Laughing Gas. (Or maybe it is Old Age.) There is so much C02 in the air now. The highest amount in world…
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Have Just Signed An Amazing 6-Foot-9-Inch Tall Soccer-Style Field Goal Kicker
DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - Reports coming out of CowboyLand, say that Jerry Jones, the owner of the most expensive team in professional sports, is as happy as a group of termites at a pencil manufacturing plant. Jones who is 79, but at times look…
Read full storyThe Wall Experts Union Says That The Trumptard's Wall Was A Complete Waste of The American Taxpayers Money
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The Wall Experts Union recently held their annual convention at The Al Capone Commemorative Coliseum in the Windy City. A convention organizer said that 17,209 wall experts from all over the nation attended, including the…
Read full storyHooters Restaurant Is Considering Changing It's Name To A More Explicit Name
ROTTEN PEACHES, Georgia - (Satire News) - After conducting extensive research, the Georgia-based Hooters Restaurant chain will most likely change it's name later this year. The franchise was founded 40 years ago by the Blasinowitz sisters, Cora, N…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Wants To Run For Chief of Police Of Malibu Beach
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - The singer who put twerking on the musical map has just said that she will be throwing her tambourine into the race for Malibu Beach Police Chief. Miley Cyrus, who is currently dating hip hop artist Zombie Zulu Yo, to…
Read full storyGov. Desantis Vows Kindergarten Students Never To Learn Critical Race Theory
Critical Race Theory, which explains how two hundred years of Racism, lynching and other yearly killings of Blacks, in America has affected our cities and neighborhoods, and affected our social interactions, is taught in a few rich Ivy league college…
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