Illinois Votes To Change The Feminist Name "Old Man Winter" To The More Appropriate "Old Woman Winter"
SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - (Satire News) - The Illinois state senate has voted overwhelmingly to change the phrase from "Old Man Winter" to the more appropriate "Old Woman Winter." The vote came out 96 to 4, to change the phrase. The chairman of t…
Read full storyAsk Dr. Billingsgate: Does Poking A Sheep Mean I’m Non-Binary?
BILLINGSGATE POST: From time to time, the need for a forum to answer some of life’s intimate questions outweighs all other necessities. It also provides an opportunity for Dr. Billingsgate to utilize the profound knowledge and intellectual bonafide…
Read full storyMarkie Mark Has Gone Meta Cartoon
Where the hell is Mark Zuckerberg? No one has seen or heard from the CEO of Facebook for a long, long time. One might think it is because Elon Musk can’t shut up for two goddamn seconds, so he’s drowning out all the other internet billionaires.
Read full storyDonald Trump Jr. Calls Ukraine President Zelinsky a 'Welfare Queen'...
Big game Hunter and all-around A-hole - Donald Trump Jr. recently called Ukraine President Zelensky an 'ungrateful Welfare Queen' - on Zitter (home of the Zitheads). (Head Zit right now being some half-crazy foreign guy). How can Trump Jr. call…
Read full storyNew Girl Group Sang at Mar A-Largo - (it included Marjorie Taylor Greene)
CCN News reported that in November, a Trumper band member of the Rock Band 'Journey' performed 'Journey' Hit songs in Mar a Largo. The back up vocals were by the current Right Wing Republican hot Lady politicians - Marjorie Taylor Greene, Kari L…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says Her New Self-Help Book Deals With The Dreaded Malady Vaginalabiatosis
WEST HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The Watchdog News Agency has printed that singer, dancer, TV actress Miley Cyrus has written a self-help book titled, "How To Get Rid of The Dreaded 'V' Word Malady - Vaginalabiatosis." WNA writer Dylan Fresco, met…
Read full storyThe Planet Earth now has Two Seasons - Super Hot and Super Cold
Mother Nature is getting Indigestion from too Much CO2 - so no Nicer Mother. Naturally - all the arguing countries on Earth have to use more Oil and Coal for heating and air conditioning - causing more Global Warming - leading to more extreme We…
Read full storyKing Charles III, Says Buckingham Palace Is Selling Off One Of Queen Elizabeth's Favorite Crowns
BUCKINGHAM PALACE - (Satire News) - King Charles III, recently told the BBC that he has decided to sell one of his mum's (the queen's) favorite stately crowns. The crown was given to the queen back on December 7, 1999, by King Fasula Mashula of Mo…
Read full storyAn IRS Audit of Trump's Income Taxes Reveals He Owes The US Government $13.7 Billion!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - More bad news for the evil PG (pussy grabber). After being fucking forced to release his income tax returns, it appears that we all now know why the orange dipshit adamantly refused to release them. Hillary an…
Read full storyUSA Today Headlines - ‘Ukrainian President Zelensky To Meet Wednesday With Biden’
USA Today (Their actual headline above) announced that Ukrainian President Zelensky would apparently be meeting with Wednesday and American President Biden. This news has stumped the world press as to why Biden would bring a young and rather strange…
Read full storyIsrael's Corrupt Netanyahu to Form New 'Really' Corrupt Government
Second - timer and new prime Minister - Netanayahu - Legally proven a Corrupt Politician - has formed a new government of Ultra Orthodox Jews and Ultra Right Settlers - according to the BCC News. The Orthodox go around all the time exuding smug…
Read full storyBenny Bounces Back Like A Bitch
Boy howdy, when you piss off the Israelis, they really know how to enact revenge (their god is Jehovah, after all, the King of Pain, so whaddaya expect from His minions?) Call Israel an apartheid fascist state (apartheid is a form of fascism, expl…
Read full storyBig Pharma is Popping Pills
I was hanging out at the headquarters of Big Pharma, when something went terribly, terribly wrong! (And I thought Pharma had everything under control! But there were human beings – that corrupt species – running the show, putting ink into the eyes…
Read full storyKissimmee, Florida Outlaws Butt Calls
KISSIMMEE, Florida - (Satire News) - The Cloud 9 News Agency says that the Kissimmee, Florida town council has voted to fine any citizen who makes a butt call, accidentally or on purpose. Councilwoman Sybilla Cullenshick, 53, told reporter Lexi As…
Read full storyColombia's #1 Export Has Just Become Sodium-Free Cocaine
MEDELLIN, Colombia - (Satire News) - The government of Colombia has just stated that their top export has just become sodium-free cocaine. Alejandro Silverio De Las Buenas, a spokesman for the government noted that after years of testing, retestin…
Read full story