Big Pharma is Popping Pills

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Thursday, 22 December 2022

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Pills are Candy for Adults ... You Like Candy, Dontcha?

I was hanging out at the headquarters of Big Pharma, when something went terribly, terribly wrong!

(And I thought Pharma had everything under control! But there were human beings – that corrupt species – running the show, putting ink into the eyes of rabbits and shampoo into the assholes of hamsters – the Homo sapiens must be stopped! Help us, Home Erectus!)

The pills came to life! They started popping like popcorn all over the place. I called for the doctors or chemists or whoever was responsible – but they all passed the blame to someone else! I couldn’t get a half decent response.

Popping pills – reds, blues, black bennies, smackcrackwhack – it was all chemical chaos, and I couldn’t hold onto them fast enough. I need me some good shit to sell to school kids. If the government wants your kids to take their pills, then why can’t they also take mine? It’s good for you, Billy and Suzie … ‘cuz I said so! Now take it and go to bed!

Sure, I like my poisons as much as the next Homo sapien, but I like myself to administer the poison, not some egghead with a wispy moustache who still farts when he sees a pretty girl like Gina Lolabridgida – Google that! (I think I spelled her name wrong, whatever – pills! Distract yourself with pills!)

I got a butterfly net to catch all I could, with hopes of selling them to the elderly, who will take anything without question – Big Pharma is counting on it! Since the elderly on average die first, it’s no wonder we all had older family members locked down somewhere – their freedom of movement compromised, freedom of choice dead, freedom of speech … careful what you say, you may end up in prison – without getting to see them. They were “an experiment”.

How about a CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT, where all the people who have something wrong with them after taking the vaccine, or if they know anyone, then they get to sue B. Pharma plus all the leaders who pushed and pushed and pushed and took no for any answer and dealt out threats like poker cards on Vegas green felt, even when we were lying on our backs, growing numb, saying “This too shall pass … just let the government and Pharma rape you, penetrate my body with your needle, doctor … oooooooh yeah, me so clotty! … and then heal … heal if you still can …”

Pfizer reported that its vaccine DOES cause blood clots. (Astra-Zeneca too – they don’t get a “Get Outa Jail Free” card.)

According to the Epoch Times: “Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine has been linked to blood clotting in older individuals, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA).”

And Medical News Today Says: “In late February 2021, several reports emerged of rare types of “thromboses” — blood clots that block veins or arteries — after the AstraZeneca (ChAdOx1-S) COVID-19 vaccine. The clots were in unusual locations, such as the veins in the head, and often accompanied by low platelet levels in the blood.”

Awesome! We all got fooled and fucked forever! Yay for government and pharmacies.

Sounds like a lawsuit waiting in the wings to me. But, alas, all the government leaders who pushed will make sure and pull Pharma out of the fires it started, and are going to keep alive and kicking for a few more years … or perhaps for the rest of all our lives.

And, lo, in the dystopian future, a new generation shall be born without governmental poison in its system … and it shall all start over again, since Pharma shall always be with us, like a popping pill that just won’t hold still.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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