SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - (Satire News) - The Illinois state senate has voted overwhelmingly to change the phrase from "Old Man Winter" to the more appropriate "Old Woman Winter."
The vote came out 96 to 4, to change the phrase.
The chairman of the senate, a recently divorced, overweight woman named Myrna Oldenoak, 62, said that winter has always been a male, and she wondered why the fuck, the cocks in the senate wanted to change 'him' over to a woman, she added that it's transgenderism, pure and simple.
Meanwhile, the ranking senator in the Illionois congress, Sen. Cleason Timbo Pishowitz, 84, simply said that since winter is cold, frigid, and icy, it makes fucking sense that winter should be a woman.
FYI: Besides, the recently divorced, fat, GOP Sen. Oldenoak, the other three females who voted against making winter a female were Sen. Jane Wavetree (R-Pizza Creek), Sen. Cynthia Tarbockley, (R-Mt. Lincoln), and Sen. Listina Furstenflucker (R-Cabeza de Chango).
