MEDELLIN, Colombia - (Satire News) - The government of Colombia has just stated that their top export has just become sodium-free cocaine.
Alejandro Silverio De Las Buenas, a spokesman for the government noted that after years of testing, retesting, and testing, one of South America's leading drug chemists, has developed what is being hailed as an amazing breakthrough in the world of drugs.
Alex, as everyone calls him, said that he has even received email from places such as Los Angeles, Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Chicago thanking him for his new invention.
One L.A. cokehead who is a heavy user of the white powder, Blaso Croxwax, 37, said that with the new sodium-free coke, he truly has become stress-free.
He even noted that sex with his longtime girlfriend, Lizzy Finchberger, 24, has never been better. He added that Lizzy is so happy with him being so happy that she is letting him do it to her "Greek Style."
