Where the hell is Mark Zuckerberg?
No one has seen or heard from the CEO of Facebook for a long, long time. One might think it is because Elon Musk can’t shut up for two goddamn seconds, so he’s drowning out all the other internet billionaires.
But a recent science-esque discovery has shown that Mark no longer lives on this planet known as Earth.
No, his experiments in Meta worlds has proven successful! Now, Mark lives as a cartoon version of himself inside a giant computer game.
He’s slaying dragons and all the high school buddies who picked on him.
He’s dating all the gorgeous princesses and music and movie stars who won’t give him the time of day or pop his zits.
He’s full of muscle (like Men At Work sings) and flexing in a world of mirrors, veins popping out on his biceps, greasing himself up with oil – and he gets the Big Trophy for just being a real man!
He’s inventing more useless crap for people and making even more money – more than all other billionaires – a trillionaire – a bazillionaire! That’s the new and improved (and fake) Mark.
In Mark’s world, we can be all the people we’ve ever wanted to be. And we can go in and kick his ass like the bullies from high school and steal his girlfriends and take his money and push his face in the cartoon mud.
Bullies everywhere, Markie Mark, and your money and your Meta won’t help you.
