The Reason Iowa Will No Longer Import Condoms From China
DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) - The governor of Iowa Kim Reynolds has informed the citizens of Iowa that she has cancelled the order of Chinese condoms that was made two weeks ago. Gov. Reynolds, who is a very sexy woman, considering she's from…
Read full storyKim Kardashian Says She Has The Hots For Barcelona's Super Star Matador El Gazpacho
HOLLYWOOD - (Sports Satire) - The Alpha Beta News Agency has just stated that Kim Kardashian is still devastated at being dumped by boyfriend Pete Davidson. Mimosa Sabrosa with ABNA, said that Kim was recently watching a bullfight from Madrid on T…
Read full story(I Can’t Get No) Education
Women and girls can’t get an education in Afghanistan. Well, what did you think would happen? These people are extreme religious nutbars. Religion always makes people crazy. Prove me wrong, and please do so without shoving your ridiculous “holy”…
Read full storyInside the Homunculus Head of the Gaetz
What the hell is in there? Me and some buddies went spelunking to find what’s inside that … THING! It was warm, humid, like marsh gas, and smelled similar. As though God died and was being roasted by Satan over a slow sulfur fire and served up…
Read full storyCongress to Release Trump's Tax Returns - Basically He Paid No Taxes for 10 years
One of Ferret News' Hot Foxy lady reporters interviews Trump - as Congress gets ready to release his Tax returns. Trump spoke while standing near the lady and looking down her blouse. Yes - it's basically true - I a Billionaire didn't pay any…
Read full storyOhio State Players Warned By The NCAA And The NFL About Excessive Bragging During Player Announcements
COLUMBUS Ohio - (Sports Satire) - The Sports Mirror has said that the NCAA and the NFL have both once again warned the Ohio State football team to stop with it's arrogant, better-than-thou BS. SM writer Tortilla Torres says that for years, Buckeye…
Read full storySoccer Fans Pick Who Their Favorite Soccer Players Are
LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Many soccer fans consider Lionel Messi to be the best that has ever set foot on a soccer field. Of course millions of soccer afficionados would disagree with that statement. Fans in the UK consider David Beckham the…
Read full storyWoman Born with both a Vagina and Penis is Dating Twins (One is Gay)
In about 1 in 100, 000 births our creative God (or possibly Goddess) - Jehovah, God, Allah, etc. - gives a Child both sets of sex organs. This is called an Intersex child. Doreen was such a child - is now an adult. Her parents did not let Do…
Read full storyNew Money, Old Whine
Britain (and, oh god, possibly the rest of the ‘commonwealth’ … it ain’t common and nobody’s got the wealth but Britain) is getting new money! This one has an old guy on it, apparently looking for his crown and ‘facing left’. Obviously some kind o…
Read full storyAfter 162 Years Mississippi Has Finally Banned The Confederate Flag
JACKSON, Mississippi - (Satire News) - Well it took 162 years, but the state of Mississippi after getting tons and tons of pressure from the Federal Government has finally decided to ban the state's Confederate flag. An attorney for the Cotton Bal…
Read full storyTom Cruise is Falling Down, Falling Down, Falling Down
Hello, and welcome to the BBC News at noon, I’m Clive Endive and these are your top stori – what? What was that? Did you see that? A man just fell past the window – and he looked familiar! Just like, just like … That’s right, cats and kiddies, Tom…
Read full storyA Ukrainian Drone Captures 717 Russian Soldiers
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Joe Biden, has told the White House press corps that things are looking pretty fucked up for Russian Commie invader Vlady Nikita Putin and his tired Russian troops. POTUS stated with a huge smile on his…
Read full storyOne of The Trumptard's Closest Advisors Hope Hicks Has Thrown His Bloated Old Orange Ass Under The Bus
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - According to Lottie Bungaloo with The United Americana News Agency, the person who Donald Trump once told was going to be his fourth wife, has thrown the perverted racist former boss underneath the bus; and not a si…
Read full storyElon Musk Has Literally Lost His Mind - He's Now Been Placed On Suicide Watch
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - One of the world's richest men is also one of the world's biggest pieces of donkey shit. Elon Musk, who has gone off the fucking deep end has been acting like a clone of Donald "The Orange Low-Life" Trump. Musk who in…
Read full storyKate Middleton Finally Reveals That She Has a Tattoo of Queen Elizabeth's Name on Her Upper Left Thigh
LONDON - (Satire News) - The feud between the two royal sisters-in-law seems to be gaining steam like an old time locomotive. Kate is saying that Meghan did not like fox hunts as they were too cruel to the foxes, and Meghan said that Kate used to…
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