Man Believes Life Is Better With More Exclamation Marks!
A man has taken a cue from an episode of 'Seinfeld', and decided that every word out of his mouth, and everyone else's, should end in an exclamation mark! "It's just more fun and exciting to speak and write this way!" Lars Gumpy proclaimed! "Think…
Read full storyEmergency Car Seatbelts: How To Make One
In this latest in the 'How To Make One' series, we look at seatbelts, and how to fashion one in an emergency from things that might be lying around, so that we can avoid falling foul of traffic laws. The first thing we can use to get around those…
Read full storyTrump Wants Biden Checked For Penis Pump Before Debate
BILLINGSGATE POST: Prior to leaving for Cleveland this morning to debate Sleepy Joe, President Trump told reporters that he will request that Biden be searched for a penis pump. “Something is going on down there with Joe,” pointing down to his cr…
Read full story'Knock Knees' operations put on ice because of corona in Cali!
(NOT EDITED) The global medical fraternity have warned people with dodgy knees and hips that they might have to wait until 2025 to get replacements! In Cali, many virile 50-plus-ers, especially males, are worried that 'doggy style' with the missu…
Read full storyPresident Donald Trump Is Imploding at Warp Speed
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - Many pundits have been predicting that the 45th president would eventually self-destruct, due to his hate-spewing personality, his addiction to golf, and his love for the likes of Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, and Hope…
Read full storyNew England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Is Considering Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Offer To Purchase The Team
BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Boston Evening Moon newspaper is reporting that Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, has received an offer from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to purchase the team. Kraft recently told Sports Illustrated magaz…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Now The Official Spokesman for Goya Beans
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump has just announced that he has been signed to be the official national spokesman for Goya Beans. Trump made the announcement after updating the White House press corps on his golf game, his recent…
Read full storyDancing With The Stars’ Disney Night Was Filled With Tons of Sugar-Coated Sugar
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) - "Dancing With The Stars" featured songs from Disney movies and there was more sugar on the dance floor than in an Imperial Sugar Mill. According to Hollywood Hors D’oeuvres, one of the three judges has said, off-the-rec…
Read full storyPresident Donald J. Trump Now Has a New Nickname – The Tax Dodger
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The New York Times has just released 978 documents showing that President Trump is nothing more than a self-centered, egomaniacal, non-tax-paying chump. He has a new nickname - The Tax Dodger. Tilapia Frisbee,…
Read full storyChelsea Will Spend £4 Billion to Buy Every Footballer in Europe After Drawing West Brom Saturday
London - Chelsea Football Club manager Frank Lampard has indicated that, after his side’s disappointing start to the Premier League season, he has been given the go-ahead by his owner to spend up to four billion in transfer fees to bring in every top…
Read full storyPeople Who Voted for Trump Thought He Would Run Country Like His Business; Unfortunately He Did
Washington - The New York Times reported over the weekend that President Donald Trump had not paid federal taxes in 11 of the last 15 years, has lost hundreds of millions in the last 20 years, and owes $400 million to banks that is coming due soon.
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