BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Boston Evening Moon newspaper is reporting that Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, has received an offer from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to purchase the team.
Kraft recently told Sports Illustrated magazine that he has been wanting to sell the team ever since Tom Brady (who is like a son to him), left the Pats for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
The 79-year-old owner said that, since Tommy left, he has just not been the same.
He says that he has gone from eating T-Bones, Rib-Eyes, and New York steaks to eating, baloney, salami, and liverwurst.
Kraft said that he has nothing against his new quarterback Cam Newton, but added that Cam is just not the hugger that Tom was.
R.K. said that he just loved the way that Brady would toss him up in the air and catch him with one hand.
Meanwhile, “The Rock” says that he has made tons and tons of money from wrestling, making movies, and his endorsement of Paul Bunyan Brand Condoms.
Johnson told TMZ that if he does purchase the New England Patriots, he may move the team to Honolulu, Hawaii.