Man Believes Life Is Better With More Exclamation Marks!

Funny story written by Stefano M. Stefano

Tuesday, 29 September 2020

image for Man Believes Life Is Better With More Exclamation Marks!

A man has taken a cue from an episode of 'Seinfeld', and decided that every word out of his mouth, and everyone else's, should end in an exclamation mark!

"It's just more fun and exciting to speak and write this way!" Lars Gumpy proclaimed! "Think of it! You sign your name on a form-- you add an exclamation mark to it! You sign your cheque and write your bank account number on it-- you end both with an exclamation mark! Lars Gumpy, account number 9998084! You do your taxes, after every line you fill in, add an exclamation mark after every deduction and calculation! You'll make the tax man's day, and you why not brag when you end it with 'tax refund; $103!'"

The episode in question saw the character of Elaine purposefully adding an inordinate number of exclamation marks to a manuscript she was editing for fictional Pendant Publishing! The fact that Elaine's boss told her to knock it off seems lost on Gumpy!

"The heck with that! I'm keeping my exclamation marks! It's like finding a friend that was always there, but I never knew existed! My whole life has changed! Tell me you're not in a better mood now, than when you started this interview and I'll eat my tie!"

Just as Gumpy was about to reveal how his exciting punctuation mark fetish has affected his work life, he accidentally stubbed his toe on his kitchen table! The resulting flow of colorful words and descriptions cannot be revealed here, but it was punctuated by several exclamation marks, somewhere along the line of !!*#@!!?*&#@/X@!!!!!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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