Losing The Election, Trump Screams “Stop The Vote Count!”
Losing the election, Trump is screaming, “Stop the vote count!” Who could have guessed? Guessed what? That Donald Trump would protest the vote count when he sees he is losing. Trump is sending his supporters, who don’t appear to have stead…
Read full storyPlastic Visor Is Impeding Man's Vision
The Coronavirus has changed our perspective on life a great deal, what with having to take all kinds of precautions to limit its spread, but one man has complained that a plastic visor he has been asked to wear at work, is preventing him from being a…
Read full storyRussian Hookers Hope To Pee On Sleepy Joe’s Bed
BILLINGSGATE POST: As part of the transition between administrations, if Biden should win the presidency, Irma and Irina (last names redacted), a Russian hooker tag team, hope to be invited to pee on Sleepy Joe Biden’s bed; a tradition that started…
Read full storyBigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster seen using UFOs to deliver ballots to Detroit polling center
Eyewitnesses have reported seeing a bevy of unusual activity at the TCF Center in Detroit as ballot counting continues. One protestor, who asked to remain anonymous, stated, "It started with the barriers. I was really upset when they put those…
Read full storySnakes and Ladders has mega-revival in US
The depiction of serpents slithering up and down ladders if one throws a dice correctly, or incorrectly, has taken on a new meaning in 2020. Many US citizens seeking psychological help in these very distressing times - lockdowns, masks, presidenti…
Read full storyRudy QC and Eric PI, special agents
Episode 1: The Case of the Stolen Election Scene 1 Rudy Guiliani and Eric Trump are in their car in a parking lot in downtown Philadelphia. Eric: Gee, Uncle Rudy, these corned beef sangwiches are delicious. Do you have any mustard? Rudy…
Read full storySleepy Joe Biden Celebrates Election Victory With A Snooze
It might not have been the most ecstatic way to have celebrated a presidential election victory, but Joe Biden knows what he likes, and the new US president took it all in his stride, waved away delirious Democrat party revellers, and settled down in…
Read full storyDrummer and his spanner
Dave Argue is a drummer in a local jazz band who enjoys punching out the beat in a big way. However, Dave is a little different from other drummers: he doesn't use drumsticks. He uses a number 5 spanner. He explained that the sound he gets from us…
Read full storySenators Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham Finally Admit That Yes, President Donald Trump is a Racist
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Vox Populi is saying that Kentucky Senator McConnell and South Carolina Senator Graham, who were each victorious in their senate races, are both now saying that yes, President Trump is positively a racist. When a…
Read full storyHope Hicks Says The President Has Texted Her 291 Times Since The Election Polls Closed on Tuesday
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider, who is very close to Trump’s chief adviser, and reputed inamorata, Hope Hicks, claims that Hicks said that the president is extremely depressed and may end up hurting himself. Hicks reveale…
Read full storyKimberly Guilfoyle Says That Her Boyfriend Donald Jr. is So Depressed She’s Afraid He May Do Some Hard-Core Drugs
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Kimberly Guilfoyle, the piece of ass, who broke up Donald Trump Jr’s., marriage, was in the Big Apple getting her hair done, her nails manicured and pedicured, and her hooha Brazilian waxed. She was asked by a repor…
Read full storyA White House Maid Has Revealed That President Trump Has Locked Himself In His Bedroom and Is Sobbing Uncontrollably
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Grandiose News Agency is reporting that the Trump family is very concerned about the President. A White House maid disclosed that she has personally heard the President sobbing like a banshee, in his locked b…
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