Plastic Visor Is Impeding Man's Vision

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 5 November 2020

image for Plastic Visor Is Impeding Man's Vision
The visor, with dried spittle marks (L)

The Coronavirus has changed our perspective on life a great deal, what with having to take all kinds of precautions to limit its spread, but one man has complained that a plastic visor he has been asked to wear at work, is preventing him from being able to see clearly.

Moys Kenwood, 57, returned to work more than four weeks ago after a six-month Lockdown furlough on no pay, and is now obliged to wear a flimsy face shield made from the thinnest plastic on Earth.

Despite its thinness, however, Kenwood has found the mask is a serious impediment to his ability to see things properly. He said:

"The mask is a serious impediment to my ability to see things properly."

The problem, according to Kenwood, is that the visor is made from low-grade plastic sheeting that creates a 'glare' in bright light, and that this glare refracts the light entering the eye at a strange angle, blurring the images he sees.

The irony is, that the visor is worn like a pair of spectacles.

Another problem is spittle.

As the teacher talks away to his students, he's conscious of the fact that the vizor is 'muffling' his voice, and making it harder for them to hear and understand what he's saying. To counter this, he speaks louder, but this only increases to about of gozz that comes out of his mouth, and onto the inside of the visor. It then dries with spots and smudges of slavver.

"It's a right filthy fucking mess," he laughed.

The spittle, added to the glare, has meant that he is unable to read what is in a book unless he removes his mask, puts his glasses on, then replaces the mask once more, breaking Coronavirus regulations, and risking the spread of infection.

Laughed Kenwood:

"As well as the fact that there is minimal protection from COVID-19, and that I am being made to look like a right knobhead, I can't see bugger all, either!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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