WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Grandiose News Agency is reporting that the Trump family is very concerned about the President.
A White House maid disclosed that she has personally heard the President sobbing like a banshee, in his locked bedroom.
The maid added that Melania asked her husband to open the door, and he yelled out: “Go back to Slovenia, bitch!”
Eric Trump, who was standing next to her, told his step-mother that his daddy was just joking.
Melania reportedly slapped Eric in the face, and screamed that she was sick and tired of living in the effen Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey friggin Circus.
Eric said that he was going to tell Ivanka what she had said, and also that she bitch-slapped him.
Melania allegedly said, “Run to jur fake blonde, giraffe-looking seester, ju little beach and boaf of jus can keys my hot, sexy Slovenian ass!”