Trump: “If Biden Allowed To Take Office Dinosaurs Will Eat Your Children”
Donald Trump has declared that if Joe Biden is elected president, “Planes will fall from the sky, pizza will only come with pineapple toppings and dinosaurs will again roam free in our cities and eat your children,” among other dire warnings. “I’v…
Read full storyAre you worried about funeral costs?
Death is a hard time of life. What would be your preferred method of death? How would your family dispose of your flesh? These questions cause most people anguish at some time in their life. So why not put your mind at ease with one of Vulture Fu…
Read full storyBarack Obama Writes About His Mother-In-Law In His New Book
BILLINGSGATE POST: In his new book, A Promised Land, Barack Obama dedicates a whole chapter to his mother-in-law. He describes the relationship he had with Michelle’s mother: “Mrs. Robinson, my mother-in-law, lived her entire life in Chicago.
Read full storyDutch female 84-year-old, poker-faced, poker player, divulges her life-long winning secrets!
(NOT EDITED) After a career of playing poker with all-comers of all ages, and winning, a Dutch 84-year-old has decided to divulge her secrets, but only to her sons, who never had a chance of beating her. Before she goes completely loopy, she has d…
Read full storyNewsom rushed to brain trauma unit following confrontation with computer assistant
Directly following his recent embarrassment at being caught at a dinner for twelve with no masks, and no social distancing, California's Governor Newsom is again in trouble. Additionally, the Governor's claim of the restaurant's setting as “outdoo…
Read full storyWriter Emulates Another Writer, And Writes Story With Extremely Long Headline That Almost Completely Fills The Yellow 'Popular Funny Stories' Box On Front Page Of Site, But Which, When Placed Under Scrutiny, Has Little Or No Substance To It At All
You know you've achieved success when others start to emulate your work, and that's exactly what happened on a satirical news website earlier today, when one contributor wrote a story with an extremely long headline, just as one of the site's other w…
Read full storyBoy Sent To Bed Early Laughs At Parents By Reading Porn Mag
A naughty boy who had been sent to bed an hour before his usual bedtime for being cheeky to his mum and dad, exacted an evil revenge on them by doing just as he was told to do, and then browsing through some pornographic literature he'd 'borrowed' fr…
Read full story'How to be a succesfull bully' by Biff Tannen
Hello everybody, You might remember me from a series of documentaries set in the 1980s called Back to the Future. The first time you saw me, I was a bullying middle manager. The second time, I was a bullying teenager, who happened to be punche…
Read full storyRudy Giuliani's Hair Dye - The Truth
Whilst joining words together that had no right to exist in the same sentence, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani's hair dye decided that it had had enough. 'Imagine my surprise,' said the dark liquid, 'when I ended up on Rudy Giuliani's hair. I…
Read full storyKanye West Who Came In Third In The Presidential Election Is Now Demanding A Recount
EAST HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Kanye West, the entertainer who came in third in the presidential election, has told Vice-President Pence that he is demanding a recount. West the Pest says that he feels that a lot of people did not vote for him s…
Read full storyPresident-Elect Joe Biden Says He Will Think About Making Puerto Rico The 51st State
DOVER, Delaware – (Satire News) – One of President-Elect Joe Biden’s aides has stated that Biden is seriously considering making Puerto Rico the 51st state. Biden has stated, on several occasions, that the United States will greatly benefit from t…
Read full storyMichael Jordan Owner of The Charlotte Hornets Says His New Player Will Be The NBA's Next Superstar
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina – (Sports Satire) – The LeVar Ball Family is extremely thrilled after son LaMelo was selected by the Charlotte Bobcats in this year's NBA draft. The Bobcats are owned by Michael Jordan, as in Micheal Jordan, the greatest…
Read full storyThe Popular Country Music Duo 'Florida Georgia Line' Is Changing It’s Name
NASHVILLE – (Satire News) – News coming out of “Music City” says that the highly popular country duo Florida Georgia Line has decided to change their name. The band, made up of Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley, are noted for their songs about beer-d…
Read full storyMacy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Giant Balloons Will Be Wearing Medical Masks and Pants
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will look a little different this year, according to parade organizers. Parade director, Montrose Aspentwist, told the news media that the cartoon balloons will all be weari…
Read full storyMy Mother Was A Jersey Cow
"Take your T-shirt off," Barb said, as she looked at Rick, who was lying beside her on the blanket. "When you come to the beach, you don't cover up. You come for the sun, or something else," she giggled. "I really don't want to take it off," Rick…
Read full storyNut-loving animal blamed for loss of presidency
President Donald J Trump's legal team have claimed that many of the votes made for their candidate were stolen by a wily squirrel named Phil. The pesky animal, they believe, visited voting halls across much of Pennsylvania, stealing Trump ballots as…
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