NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will look a little different this year, according to parade organizers.
Parade director, Montrose Aspentwist, told the news media that the cartoon balloons will all be wearing masks in order to publicize the importance of self-distancing and caring about your fellow men, unlike you-know-who.
There will be several other changes as well, Aspentwist stated. For one thing, the parade distance has been reduced down from 6 miles to 0.6 miles.
Another change, which is due to complaints from evangelicals, is that every one of the caricature balloons will be wearing pants.
The state of Iowa actually told the parade committee that if the balloon characters did not wear pants, the parade would not be allowed to be televised in the state.
When PETA heard about Iowa’s comment, they stated that it is sad to see how ridiculously silly the state’s evangelical community has become.
A representative for the evangelicals stated that it’s true, but it’s all Trump’s fault. He just has a way of making normal people become crazy-as-hell banshees.