John Bolton To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manager of Manchester United
BILLINGSGATE POST: Rumors of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s demise as manager of Manchester United’s troubled team have been circulating for months. Just last week, crack Spoof reporter, Monkey Woods, predicted Ole would soon be beating the bricks looking f...
Read full storySeventy-Three Gunshots Ring Out At Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Estate
PALM BEACH, Florida – A spokesperson for The Palm Beach Sheriff’s Department said that gunshots rang out at The Southern White House. Lt. Huckleberry “Bubba” Porkinski, 52, said that there were a total of 73 shots that were fired in the vicinity o...
Read full storyPresident Trump Says He Loves The Phone Call He Got From Mexico's President
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump met with Kitty Sequoia, 29, with the iNews Agency in the White House's Hilary Clinton Commemorative Dining Room. He informed her that US-Mexico relations have never been better. The president said that he...
Read full storyManchester United Want To Play Manchester City At The Etihad Every Week
They may be having a poor campaign by their own high standards, but Manchester United's season hasn't been a total loss - they've managed to beat their city rivals, Manchester City, twice at the Etihad Stadium, and would really like to play the same...
Read full storyNashville Man Makes Good Start on Sobriety
Determined to kick his debilitating drug and alcohol habit, Travis Jones of Nashville, Tennessee, made an excellent start on sobriety by limiting his periods of intoxication to approximately 50 percent of his waking hours. "Not too shabby," said J...
Read full storyJohnson's Facial Hair Bill trimmed by Lords
With Brexit done, Parliament has turned its attention to central questions of British life. Boris Johnson's Facial Hair Bill, however, has been given a short back and sides at the Committee Stage by the House of Lords. "Incomprehensible," moped th...
Read full storyWilbur Ross Has Lost His Marbles
The US commerce secretary, Wilbur Ross, has been speaking on television and appears, very much, to have lost his marbles. Interestingly, the top of his head looks a bit like a marble. Mr Ross, talking to Fox Business News, commented that the de...
Read full storyManchester United and Liverpool To Play At Cowboy Stadium in Dallas, Texas
MANCHESTER – Plans have just about been finalized for the English football team, the Manchester United Red Devils, to play the Liverpool Reds this summer at Cowboy Stadium in Dallas, Texas. Cowboys owner billionaire Jerry Jones,77, said that he i...
Read full storyBrexit woman ‘gutted’ as commemorative tea towel disintegrates during first wash
A 54-year-old woman from the north of England has expressed her dismay after the commemorative Brexit tea towel she had bought just days earlier, fell to bits in the washing machine during its maiden wash. Amanda Dann, a housewife and mother of tw...
Read full storySexy Latina Babes Jennifer Lopez and Shakira To Perform At Halftime At Super Bowl LIV (54)
MIAMI – This year’s Super Bowl (LIV) between the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs will feature two hot Latinas performing at halftime. Jennifer Lopez, 50, who is Puerto Rican, and Shakira, 42, who is Colombian, will both be shaking thei...
Read full storySan Francisco 49ers To Wear LGBT Uniforms In Super Bowl
Sunday's Super Bowl LIV between the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs will be notable for many reasons, the latest of which was revealed yesterday, as the 49ers will line up for the game wearing specially-designed, new LGBT rainbow-color...
Read full storyThe View’s Whoopi Goldberg Denies That She Bit Fellow Co-Host Meghan McCain's Breast
NEW YORK CITY - The Vox Populi News Agency is reporting that a make-up artist who is employed by The View said that she witnessed a very heated confrontation between Whoopi Goldberg, 64, and Meghan McCain, 35. Chardonnay Tuckertini, 29, said that...
Read full storyAnti-Vivisection Society Demands Saudi Arabia Reassemble Khashoggi
BILLINGSGATE POST: If there was a bounce to Hannibal Lecter’s step last year as he exited the Saudi Arabia Embassy in Istanbul with a new lampshade in his arms, was it because he was light in his loafers, or was it just because he was satisfied with...
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