Megxit To Los Angeles
A comedian once said, “Life is tough, and then you die.” So Harry was born a Prince. At age 33, he married Meghan. Life was good for a few weeks, but not good enough. They moved out of rent-free Kensington Palace that the Queen had redone at the c...
Read full storySingapore Airlines Halts All Flights Due To Coronavirus Outbreak
Singapore Airlines CEO Goh Choon Phong has declared that Singapore Airlines will halt flights from inside and outside the Republic of Singapore until approximately April 10 (subject to change). Phong states: “Coronavirus is one of the worst epidem...
Read full storyMayor Pete Could Be The Girl Next Door
BILLINGSGATE POST: Wouldn’t it be nice if someone as sweet and wholesome as the girl next door became our next president? Mayor Pete is all that and even more. Until he first started shaving at the age of seventeen, everyone thought he was a shoo-i...
Read full storyHouse Dems Vow New Trump Charges Soon, So He Can Add Another 5 Percent Approval Right Before Election
Washington - Not content after the jump in Donald Trump's approval polls from the low 40s to 49% right after the impeachment acquittal in the U.S. Senate, Representatives Jerry Nadler and Adam Schiff promised to continue investigating the President a...
Read full storyJurgen Klopp to Play Liverpool Under-16 Group Against Struggling West Ham Monday at Anfield
Liverpool - After dispatching Norwich over the weekend, Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp announced he would utilize his Under-16 side against visiting West Ham next Monday, in order to save his Premier League lineup for upcoming Champions League knocko...
Read full storySchool Is Stupid (an excerpt from Trump's Unauthorized Autobiography)
School Was Pretty Stupid “No, I’m not cutting services, but I’m cutting spending. But I may cut Department of Education.” Available on Amazon Trump, you know, me, from October 2015. We need to fix our broken education system! There’s no failed...
Read full storyNeville Chamberlain Award for Enabling Autocrats to be Presented Next Month; Finalists Announced
The Hague, Netherlands - IFODA, the International Fraternity of Oligarchs, Dictators and Autocrats, will present its awards in March, said spokesman Moussa Ibraham yesterday. The Neville Chamberlain Award, the most prestigious of the awards hand...
Read full storyTrump Signs Executive Order Rescinding Oscar Awards for "Parasite" After Being Forced to Read Subtitles
Phoenix, Arizona - President Donald Trump, after a local rally in which he railed against the awarding of Oscars for Best Picture and Best Director given to the creators of the movie "Parasite", has signed a hastily-drawn-up executive order this morn...
Read full storyNashville Man Gets Serious about Having Some Fun
Accused of being rigid, upright, and even a total buzz-kill, Cody Jameson of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to get serious about having some fun. "I know I need to work on loosening up and having a good time," said Cody. "It won't be easy, but it's...
Read full storyPriti Patel now accused of bullying people! – Jeremy Corbyn nominates her for a peerage
British Home Secretary Priti Patel has been accused of bullying staff in her department. The ex-beauty-queen-turned-politician is said to have made [unreasonable demands on the civil servants who work for the Home Office, such as “Could you get the p...
Read full storyBritish government to introduce forced sterilization
Yes, he's at it again. That fiendish cloak-and-dagger Downing Street elf, Dominic Cummings, almost landed a coup this week in appointing Andrew Sabisky to his team, but the latter's outspoken belief in eugenics, and his bizarre idea of thus improving...
Read full story"Is That Chinese Film “Parasite” About Coronavirus?" Asks Taxi Driver
Please don’t. I was in a bad mood, and didn’t feel like chatting. “No clue, I haven’t seen it yet.” “Well, I did, a few days ago," he said while changing lanes. “Don’t tell anyone, but I downloaded this movie from a torrent. Disappointing qual...
Read full storyDonnie Trump Jr. Makes A Very Inappropriate Lascivious Remark About His Step-Mother (Melania Trump)
WINNEMUCCA, Nevada – Many people believe that the town was named after Chief Winnemucca of the Paiute tribe, but it was actually named after Sylvester “Silly” Winnemucca, who was a traveling crotch elixir salesman/comedian. Donald Trump Jr., who N...
Read full storyPrince Harry And Duchess Meghan Markle Meet King Tom (Brady)
SAN FRANCISCO – Prince Harry and his sexy wife, Meghan, were visiting “Fog City”, and taking in the sites such as The Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz Prison, and the trailer where members of the 60s rock band, The Jefferson Airplane, wrote such hit song...
Read full storyRussia Wants Trump To Get Re-Elected and Donates $67.5 Million To His Re-Election Campaign
NEW YORK CITY – The New York Sun Observer is reporting that a reliable source inside the White House has just revealed some very interesting information. The source who will simply be known as Finola Sprywillow, 31, told the Sun Observer that she...
Read full storyBBC Makes Horrendous Errors, But Still Not Looking For Proofreader
The BBC has been criticised over the standard of its online news reporting after a bitter man noticed two errors side-by-side in its Sports section this morning. Moys Kenwood, 56, a frustrated proofreader, opened up the computer at the school wher...
Read full storyTrump To Pardon Roger Stone After Harvey Weinstein, Sirhan Sirhan and The Unabomber
So far, President Trump has pardoned ten felons, as he winds up to do the same for all the rest of his pals either in jail or on their way to the big house. Pardons for Sirhan Sirhan and the Unabomber would make headlines, but afterward, a pardon fo...
Read full storyBloomberg and DNC surge to top of 2020 IYF trophy contest
After twenty years of increasingly flagrant in your face activity from personnel related to US politics, the IYF Trophy has become one of the most popular awards among the ruling elites. The “in your face” title for this award indicates increasing...
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