Mayor Pete Could Be The Girl Next Door

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 21 February 2020

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Separated At Birth

BILLINGSGATE POST: Wouldn’t it be nice if someone as sweet and wholesome as the girl next door became our next president? Mayor Pete is all that and even more. Until he first started shaving at the age of seventeen, everyone thought he was a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen at the local high school.

His parents knew when he first came out of the womb that he would someday make something of himself. Reaching for the stars, they named him “Mayor Pete.”

He didn’t disappoint them. He served as mayor of South Bend, Indiana, from 2012 to 2020. But Pete had higher aspirations.

Seizing the moment, with the Democrat Party in shambles, he threw his hat into the ring. Amazingly, he is now a serious candidate for the presidency. What he has going for himself, and what may separate him from the other candidates, is his striking resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman.

Picking up on this, President Trump, who has a penchant for pinning demeaning monikers on his political foes, just last night referred to Mayor Pete as Alfred E. Neuman.

Slim: “You just have to love his engaging grin.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. This may backfire on Trump. Alfred E. Neuman has a lot more credibility than the rest of the Democrat wackos.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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