British government to introduce forced sterilization

Funny story written by T. Loaf

Friday, 21 February 2020

image for British government to introduce forced sterilization
Johnson's neighbours leave town

Yes, he's at it again. That fiendish cloak-and-dagger Downing Street elf, Dominic Cummings, almost landed a coup this week in appointing Andrew Sabisky to his team, but the latter's outspoken belief in eugenics, and his bizarre idea of thus improving the genetics of the British people, whoever they may be, put a stop to his employment at No. 10.

Yet the dream continues. Cummings supports forcibly sterilizing parts of the public, and has set up a sinister group to analyse the possibility of 'murdering the inferior', stating there is simply too much 'dead weight' out there. "Thickos who don't give a toss about what others think," added Cummings. Hmmm...

Onlookers are surprised, and confused. The average IQ of Johnson's cabinet is pitiful. Priti Patel, the Home Minister, and Robert Jenrick, Housing Minister, have been seen practising how to walk along a street looking happy, while, in general, ministers are expected to be able to use an Oyster card, eat an omelette, and operate a light switch without assistance. Indeed, Andrea Leadsom was fired from the cabinet because she ate her Oyster card and tried to enter the tube with an omelette.

"Standards must improve," giggled Johnson. "We can't afford to provide upkeep for the dim and infirm much longer. A radical new approach is required. After Brexit, we'll be weeding out those whom I dislike. And there are quite a few. All future Britons should have the chance of becoming like me or Dominic. We need a sort of new 'Boris race'..."

Didn't someone on the continent have similar plans long ago?

Ja wohl...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more