Originator of Johns Hopkins COVID-19 Dashboard Not Sure Where Data Comes From, But Says It Looks Good Enough
(Baltimore, Maryland) As the Coronavirus continues its spread to every inhabited corner of the planet, everyday citizens’ appetite for the disease’s telemetry has grown exponentially, mainly to enable them to debate their expertise on epidemiology on...
Read full storyPresident Trump blames Coronavirus on “slitty-eyed foreigners, Muslims, the New York Times and the Democrats”
The President of the United States, in an important news briefing today, released information about the possible origins of the deadly Coronavirus disease. Flanked by his chief medical officers, who appeared to have headaches and were looking down at...
Read full storyNottinghamshire police issue apology after WPC arrests cow for breaking social distancing laws.
Molly the cow got the surprise of her life when, one minute, she was chewing some grass in a field near Babbington, and having a pleasant bovine conversation with Milly the cow about the taste of daffodils, and, the next, she was being tasered and ha...
Read full storyFilming on new fall series "The Walking Braindead" begins
(Columbus, OH) In spite of the entire film industry being shut down from California to New York due to the worldwide Coronavirus health crisis, filming began in Ohio for a new fall series tentatively named The Walking Braindead. The series will follo...
Read full storyTrump becomes epicenter of coronavirus
"This is absolute," said President Trump, as he spoke to astonished journalists on the White House lawn. Originally, the President had thought coronavirus to be something bad affecting computers. Having established the Administration had no Corona...
Read full storyNashville Roofer Dies after Falling from 12-Story Building and Testing Positive for COVID-19
Part of the construction team hired to rebuild East Nashville after two devastating tornadoes ravaged much of the area in March 2020, 28-year-old Chip Goodman, a roofer with Raise the Roof, Inc., tumbled from a 12-story building when a tarp torn loos...
Read full storyElk Stuck In Mud Was Left To Die
Animal escapades often make good stories, especially if they have happy endings, but that wasn't the case for one unlucky elk in Canada, this week, when two hunters spotted the poor beast trapped in mud, but decided it was too dangerous to rescue it,...
Read full storyA Hong Kong McDonald’s Refuses To Serve Blacks
HONG KONG – The Chinese Press is reporting that a restaurant in Hong Kong put up a sign stating that blacks cannot enter the eatery. A lawyer representing former NBA basketball player, LeShontay Maypole, said that he and his wife, LaQuaneesha, tri...
Read full storyArchaeologists Discover The Bones of A Fighting Bull Underneath the North Pole
COLD VILLAGE, North Pole – A group of archaeologists from Zimbabwe recently made quite a discovery. The team of scientists traveled to the North Pole to study the migratory, dietary, and sexual habits of the Emperor penguins who are prone to havin...
Read full storyPresident Trump Tells Sean Hannity That if His Bone Spurs Get Worse He May Have to Resign the Presidency
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The president’s BFF, Sean Hannity, has just revealed that he had a very personal phone conversation with Trump. Hannity, who is the top anchorman at Fox News, reported that he was literally floored when his best friend informed...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Extremely Upset with Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott
DALLAS – A Dallas Cowboys insider has said that Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, is very angry at two of his top players. It seems that quarterback, Dak Prescott, threw a big party for some close friends and neighbors, knowing full well that Jones had...
Read full storyAntibodies Sue World Health Org. [WHO]
Geneva, Switzerland. Woof Blister reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. The World Health Organization, already reeling from U.S. president Donald Trump's sudden decision to withhold funding, faced another unexpected challenge today in its sea...
Read full storyFamily of five eaten after local lion-tamer works from home
Tragedy struck in a quiet East London street yesterday, when a circus lion that was being kept in a garden shed by its keeper killed and ate the man's wife and four children. Lion-tamer, Toby Dell, 42, from Vallance Road, Whitechapel, told a local...
Read full storyMan's Spanner Collection Keeps On Growing
A man whose infatuation with tools in general, and spanners in particular, is the talk of his neighbourhood, has again got tongues wagging, this week, after acquiring yet another spanner for his collection. Roger Smyth, 50, of Braintree, in Essex,...
Read full storyMichigan Citizens Unite to Demand Soul Crushing Work Routines Not Be Thwarted By an Uncaring Government
(Lansing, Michigan) Michigan citizens rallied in their state’s capital this Wednesday, demanding their governor allow them to return to the soul crushing work routines they were trapped in before the Coronavirus pandemic rolled into their state.
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