Man's Spanner Collection Keeps On Growing

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 16 April 2020

image for Man's Spanner Collection Keeps On Growing
Roger thinking about who will polish his spanners when he's dead

A man whose infatuation with tools in general, and spanners in particular, is the talk of his neighbourhood, has again got tongues wagging, this week, after acquiring yet another spanner for his collection.

Roger Smyth, 50, of Braintree, in Essex, divides his free time equally between polishing his vast tool set in his garage, and going around Car Boot Sales to look for new ones.

He has more than 5,000 spanners.

His wife, Doreen, thinks this is excessive. She said:

"Oh, I know that every man has to have an interest, but he goes too far. I even found a spanner under his pillow one morning!"

His neighbours think he's daft. Arthur Crabtree, who lives opposite, said:

"He's daft."

This week, Roger found a discarded, rusty, old spanner in some undergrowth near his home, during his five-minute exercise stroll. He couldn't just leave it there, and lovingly wrapped it in his handkerchief. Then he went home to polish it, and give it new life.

Roger laughed:

"I suppose it's a bit silly, really. I'm rubbish at fixing things!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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