Sadio Mané Can't Stand Mo Salah Anymore
There's trouble brewing in the Anfield dressing room tonight, after Liverpool's Sadio Mané told striking partner, Mo Salah, that he is so angry with the Egyptian, that he no longer regards him as a friend, and doesn't want to talk to him anymore.
Read full storyAngel Experiences Unprecedented Acceptance in Nashville
For her whole life, Lucinda Carlile, an angel, struggled to find people willing to trust and accept her - until she found her way to Music City, Tennessee, where she says she's experienced heretofore unimaginable levels of credibility. "We all cra...
Read full storyTrump Complains about European Hurricane Model Showing Total Destruction of Only Mara Largo In Florida
An angry Donald Trump sent several Tweets this morning regarding a European hurricane model that seemed to show Hurricane Dorian targeting Mara Lago, the resort owned by Donald Trump in Florida. The model shows Dorian coming on shore and somehow...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Anonymous In Manchester United's Draw With Southampton
Harry Maguire, Manchester United's £80million central defender who has received extensive media coverage recently, was almost anonymous in his side's 1-1 draw with Southampton this afternoon, and wasn't even mentioned in the BBC Sport match report I...
Read full storyEven More Breaking News Than Yesterday
THE WIRED STREET URINAL Reporter: KR Schwartz August 30th 2019 This morning, Scotland’s first Minister Nicola Sturgeon announced the unprecedented action of nationalizing U.S. President Donald Trump's two golf courses in Scotland, Aberdeen &...
Read full storyHow Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 2
BILLINGSGATE POST: Everdingle was wearing his standard issue Dickies Short Sleave Mechanics Coveralls with a V-Neck, Fruit-Of-The-Loom white tee shirt underneath. A 9mm Heckler & Koch MPS sub-machine gun was strapped to his thigh. With his tailo...
Read full storyIncompetent Angel Humbly Accepts Demotion After Innocent Soul Originally Intended For Reincarnation Was Sent Back To The Past
5th Layer Of Heaven. "GOD-DAMNIT!" and "SHIT!" were just a few of the angry, loud, and desperate words that were heard on the southwestern corner of the 5th Layer of Heaven last Wednesday, when a recently-promoted angel accidentally sent a soul (ori...
Read full storyJames Blunt 'One Show' Performance Made Viewer's Ears Bleed
A song performed on BBC One's 'The One Show' by singer/songwriter, James Blunt, was so awful, it made one viewer's ears bleed. Blunt was appearing on the show hosted by Nick Grimshaw and Emma Willis on Friday evening, and, after talking alongside...
Read full storyHow Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 1
BILLINGSGATE POST: The metronomic ticking of the time bomb that would provide kaleidoscopic evidence that the FBI was colluding with the Russians was forcing Special Agent Slim Everdingle into making a virtual Hobson’s Choice; whether to go with his...
Read full storyBoris Johnson Pisses Himself Under Questioning From Children
Prime Minister Boris Johnson came through another heated question-and-answer session this afternoon, as he faced a barrage of enquiries from a group of schoolchildren on his proposals to inject £14billion into education over the next three years.
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