James Blunt 'One Show' Performance Made Viewer's Ears Bleed

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 31 August 2019

image for James Blunt 'One Show' Performance Made Viewer's Ears Bleed
Some blood earlier

A song performed on BBC One's 'The One Show' by singer/songwriter, James Blunt, was so awful, it made one viewer's ears bleed.

Blunt was appearing on the show hosted by Nick Grimshaw and Emma Willis on Friday evening, and, after talking alongside EastEnders actress, Lucy Benjamin, about how he dealt with people on social media who were 'less than complimentary' about his musical offerings, he took to a makeshift stage to sing.

Alas, this was his undoing.

As he launched into his ditty - title unknown - his out-of-key voice met his out-of-time guitar head-on, and the studio audience winced. His vocals warbled this way and that, until one viewer watching at his mother's home in Hull, started to feel giddy, and experienced a severe pain in his inner ears.

Moys Kenwood, 56, placed both hands over his lugs in agony, as blood trickled out of them, stopping only when Blunt did.

It's not thought that there will be any long-term, lasting damage to the ears, but other viewers have now been warned to exercise extreme caution whenever James Blunt starts to sing, particularly when it is a live performance.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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