NRA Rolls Out Paintball Guns for New Initiative Saying: “No More Blood, Just Paint”
Earlier today, Colonel Oliver North, the President of the NRA, announced his new gun initiative called, “No More Blood, Just Paint.” Due to the national news tragedies involving guns, specifically school shootings, North believed he had to take a st...
Read full storyExtinction Rebellion Is Over Until The Same Time Next Year
Extinction Rebellion, the event that brought together tens of thousands of people with a common purpose of trying to make governments more transparent over the issues raised by climate change and global warming, is over, until the same time next year...
Read full storyFat kids encouraged to do more sport
Japanese companies have begun investing heavily in the UK in people who they see as sports stars of the future - but they are not choosing the most athletic types. The Japanese name for Britain is "Shibō Orokamono no Shima", which translates as "isla...
Read full story"Doomsday Could Last For Many Years,” Predicts Mayan High Chief God Emeritus, Hokum Hokum
BILLINGSGATE POST: Mayan High Chief God Emeritus, Hokum Hokum, whose prediction of the end of the World failed to materialize on December 21, 2012, accepted the fact that he was overly optimistic when he warned the World’s inhabitants that they woul...
Read full storyDonald Trump Underscores His Emotional Insecurities in Description of 2020 Presidential Candidates
In a recent interview Donald Trump revealed his emotional insecurities over 2020 Democratic Presidential hopefuls. "First of all, there was no collusion with Russia," Trump stated for the millionth time. "Secondly...That is the number that come...
Read full storyGiant Killer Squid Attack Predicted Ahead Of Trump UK Trip
London, UK - (Calamari Stuff): A UK TV weather man has warned the public not to leave their homes because a giant two mile-wide killer squid from the Architeuthis family is prowling the British coastline - potentially casing the joint ahead of June’s...
Read full storyGeorge Orwell Has Written A New Book, Even Though He's Dead
Extraordinary news has reached our Literature correspondent that author George Orwell, who wrote several classic books including '1984', 'Animal Farm', 'Homage To Catalonia' and 'The Road To Wigan Pier', has written a new book, despite the fact that...
Read full storyNew Study Shows Most People Pretty Average
A new study published in the Journal of Human Evolution showed that the vast majority of Americans are not exceptional in any significant way and, in fact, are pretty average. Sociologist Dr. Charles Stanton, who conducted the study, said that he...
Read full storyDebenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother
There was relief in one Hull household earlier today, when it was revealed that the city's Debenhams store was not on a list of 22 stores targeted for closure during 2020. The news was 'music to the ears' of Val Kenwood, 82, who goes to the Debenh...
Read full storyWith a Song in His Heart, Cardiac Patient Can't Stop Singing
Scene: The ER room at a large hospital in San Francisco. [Nurse] Doctor, the next patient is elderly, a bit barmy. He's a has-been, washed up, third-rate pop tune singer from the '40s and '50s who is very difficult to communicate with. [Doctor]...
Read full storyTrump To Face Challenge From George Clinton
We've had Bill, we almost had Hillary, and now the US is only a vote away from having the biggest, loudest, craziest, sexiest and funkiest Clinton yet for its president - George, who has announced his intention to run for president in the 2020 electi...
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