Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 26 April 2019

image for Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother
Open for browsing and nowt much else.

There was relief in one Hull household earlier today, when it was revealed that the city's Debenhams store was not on a list of 22 stores targeted for closure during 2020.

The news was 'music to the ears' of Val Kenwood, 82, who goes to the Debenhams shop in Hull city center every Tuesday "for a browse" with her sister, Sheila.

"Oh, that is good news," said Val, adding, "there's too many good shops shutting these days. The'll soon be nowt left oppen!"

The octogenarian described her typical Debenhams experience:

"Well, I meet our Sheila about half past one, and we get our pensions, and then we go to building society, and Primark, and Bonmarche - mind you, that's going soon, as well - then we get Sheila's meat from butcher's, then we have a look in Debenhams. The've got some lovely things in there! That's where I get me Blue Grass!"

Although it's not been identified for closure this time, Hull's Debenhams store could figure in a list of 28 further stores that will close in 2021. Val said:

"Ooo, the cafe's lovely. We often go f'ra cuppa tea. It'll be a big shame if it does close down for good - a bit like Littlewoods and British Home Stores. That St. Stephen's is bloody rubbish! You watch, Markses'll be next!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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