Giant Killer Squid Attack Predicted Ahead Of Trump UK Trip

Written by queen mudder

Friday, 26 April 2019

image for Giant Killer Squid Attack Predicted Ahead Of Trump UK Trip
Casing the joint in time for June the turd visit

London, UK - (Calamari Stuff): A UK TV weather man has warned the public not to leave their homes because a giant two mile-wide killer squid from the Architeuthis family is prowling the British coastline - potentially casing the joint ahead of June’s visit by Donald Trump.

It’s the first time London Climate Change Center meteorologists have broadcast such advice, caught on latest cutting-edge sonar equipment, showing the fabled monster menacing UK territorial waters just off the Scilly Isles.

“We’re monitoring its mile-long tentacles and inside arms,” weatherman Luke Sly-Talker commented, “looks like they’re lined with thousands of subspherical suction cups loaded with lethal pilchard-baiting toxins.”

The warning comes amid concerns that Trump’s presidential ScareForce One runabout could be an easy target for the giant slimy beastie whose sophisticated nervous system responds adversely to jet engine contrails.

Spoof readers can track the monster’s progress by logging on to the website’s dedicated Fleeview 666 Channel.

An update follows soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more