TV Guide - 24th April
6:00. Britain Now. Susanna Reid interviews a robot programmed to talk like Ronnie Corbett. 6:30. Tragedy Farm. The latest goings on in Sadley. A combine harvester crashes into the funeral hearse. 7:00. Quizbum. Geoff Arsely asks more anus rel...
Read full storyBuckingham Palace Deploys Thermal Lances In Emergency Fatberg Removal
London, UK - (Hellfire Mess): Flunkies charged with removing a reported 50-ton fartberg from under Buckingham Palace have brought in oxyacetylene torches to avert a potential environmental disaster following 100 years’ continuous service by Her Maje...
Read full storyTrump Declares War On Mexico, Iran, China, Venezuela, Joe Biden, And His Scale
On his way to Atlanta to address a meeting on the opioid drug abuse crisis, Donald Trump volunteered, switching away from the subject of impeachment, (as is his way) and threatened to send “ARMED SOLDIERS” to the Mexican border claiming Mexican troop...
Read full storyWorshippers of POTUS Who Worships Only Himself Hate Term “Easter Worshippers”
Washington - Reacting to a comment by former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who referred to people attacked by terrorists on Easter in Sri Lanka churches as they worshipped as "Easter Worshippers" instead of Christians, Conservative Evangelicals...
Read full storyThe Bomb Plot
Brexiteers were up in arms today after a grenade was donated to a charity shop in Norfolk causing minimal disruption. Upon discovering the “suspicious device” staff called the police who closed down local shops before making bringing in specialist un...
Read full storyBilliard Ball Spotted In Middle Of Road
A man walking along a deserted road near his home in a backwoods and out-of-the-way place had a mild shock this weekend, when, much to his surprise, he found a billiard ball in the middle of the road. The ball was the number 11 ball. All kinds...
Read full storyTraffic Violations on the Rise in Wal Mart Stores
When electric carts made their debut in Wal Mart stores years ago, much of the public viewed them as a compassionate convenience for those with serious mobility issues. Today public opinion seems to be turning against cart-going patrons. Don't get...
Read full storyWriter Impressed at Speed with which His Best Ideas Run Away
Fiction writer Glenn Merchant of New York City never runs out of ideas, but, unfortunately, his best ones tend to run away from him – and fast. “I can’t seem to hold onto a single bit of true inspiration,” said Glenn. “These babies know how to bo...
Read full storyWoman Heard 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' By Kylie Minogue, And Couldn't Get It Out Of Her Head
A woman who had gone to Ibiza for a crazy beach dance party-cum-orgy, has told how she danced to the intoxicating rhythm of the Kylie Minogue favorite, 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head', and couldn't get the tune out of her head. Donna McGlone, 26, h...
Read full storyShaq to be Lakers New Head Coach?
Staples Center, Los Angeles. With the Los Angeles Lakers in turmoil after Magic Johnson's surprise resignation as head of basketball operations, and Luke Walton's dismissal as head coach, talks have begun with Shaq O'Neal in an attempt to lure him aw...
Read full storyWorker Pissed Off With Bosses Is On The Verge Of Telling Them To Go Fuck Themselves
A middle-aged worker at a local company, who has suffered at the hands of his intimidating, brutal, and bullying employers for so long, has now had just about as much as he can possibly stand from them, and is close to telling them to go fuck themsel...
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