Traffic Violations on the Rise in Wal Mart Stores

Funny story written by C/L

Wednesday, 24 April 2019

image for Traffic Violations on the Rise in Wal Mart Stores
People are either riding along like slow moving, flatulent locomotive engines, puffing farts out of their anal-smoke stacks

When electric carts made their debut in Wal Mart stores years ago, much of the public viewed them as a compassionate convenience for those with serious mobility issues. Today public opinion seems to be turning against cart-going patrons.

Don't get me wrong, many people who are utilizing the carts throughout the store are honestly deserving of their place on those cart seats. However, some patrons seem suspect in my mind. I believe that a growing number of them don't need the carts at all, and are just lazy jerks who want to ride aimlessly through the store.

I can see it in the eyes of other shoppers as well, when someone is hogging the aisle and slowing down as they hear the approach of my foot steps behind them. A shopper opposite me might roll their eyes or shake their head in a sympathetic gesture of disgust and dismay. That's when you want to give their cart a kick, or lean down and push them along at break-neck speed.

Cart patrons often pull a stop and back up maneuver, when by all rights they should keep going up and out of the aisle, go down an adjacent aisle, and come back up the same aisle all over again. Oh, no, of course someone on a cart can't do that! They have to be a pain in the ass and back up into my feet and shins. It's fucking enraging!

There's also the six-point turn which involves someone pulling ahead, and backing up at least ten times to turn around in the other direction. To add insult to injury, I end up having to step aside to let them get by. And not a God damned "excuse me" or "thank you" either!

Some are guilty of moving odor violations. People are either riding along like slow moving, flatulent locomotive engines, puffing farts out of their anal-smoke stacks, or they are excreting a pungent-wafting stink, like a garbage barge heading out to sea.

Many are rude, acting like they are the only ones on the face of the fucking earth. Others slouch in their seats, giving off a distinct air of not needing to be on the cart, and being very capable of walking, and letting you know that they think that you are a chump for walking all over the store. It's enough to make a person want to hit them in the face with a wiffle ball bat!

But I, like many others, harbor my disdain, mentally bitching and grumbling all the while smiling at these sleazy leeches like a passive-aggressive chimpanzee.

In closing, electric carts are for the truly disabled, not the whiplashed and phantom back injury crowd! They are not for lazy people with poor personal hygiene and even poorer personalities. Electric carts are a privilege, not a right. And they certainly aren't right for arrogant, crazy, fucks!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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