Brexiteers were up in arms today after a grenade was donated to a charity shop in Norfolk causing minimal disruption. Upon discovering the “suspicious device” staff called the police who closed down local shops before making bringing in specialist units to make the device safe.
However brave Brexiteers braved the sunshine and temporary shop closures to blame the incident on the EU, Muslims and “PC madness gone mad”.
Eleonore Stabies, 76, said:
"I only went out to get some locally-sourced milk, and the next thing I know all hell's broken loose. I’ve got some uppity policeman telling me I can’t go any closer because of an explosive device. I bet it was one of them Muslims Jihapies I’m always hearing about, I wish Mr Farage was here, he’d know what to do."
The device was discovered in a box of old military memorabilia that also contained several racy snaps of Winston Churchill.
"It’s a remoaner plot," said one clearly agitated individual as he walked past.
Thanks to the quick actions of the police, the device was disarmed and safely stored with minimal disruption but this didn’t stop Brexiteers turning up en masse to protest the temporary shop closures.
One red faced gentlemen said that he’d come from shouting at children protesting climate change to be here specially. He said:
"It’s the death of the British high street, explosive devices being discovered, knife crime, blacks, the whole thing is just PC madness. You can’t even say “I want to gas all the gypsies” anymore without someone saying you’re a racist."
Luckily no one was hurt in the incident.