Kansas Has Banned Miley Cyrus From Entering The State
TOPEKA, Kansas - After receiving dozens of petitions with thousands and thousands of names, the governor of Kansas has decided that singer Miley Cyrus will not be allowed in the state. Governor Sam Brownback said that the nice, decent, honorable c...
Read full storyBen & Jerry's Introduces Its Latest Ice Cream Flavor - Duck Dynasty Delight
SOUTH BURLINGTON, Vermont - The makers of the world famous Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream have just announced their latest ice cream creation. Company spokesperson Millard Cypress informed the news media at a press conference at the South Burlington...
Read full storyBook Review - Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks
I had an extremely bad experience while reading this book. The book had been soaked in acid, and I inadvertently licked my hands after reading the first chapter. For three days I was totally out of it and seeing strange things, such as my brother actually showering, my dad actually working and my wife actually looked marginally attractive. A crazy false reality. Of course it was an LSD in...
Read full storyBook Review - Can You Keep A Secret by Sophie Kinsella
Unbelievable. Totally unbelievable. I read this book after I was BETRAYED after telling a close friend a secret. I thought, wow, he really should have read this book, maybe then he would have kept his big mouth SHUT. Great book, enjoyed it, but word of warning, if you are a secret cross dresser and like the feel of sheer nylon on your legs, the excitement of wearing panties (secretly)...
Read full storyBook Review - Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson
In answer to the question posed: I do not know, however if said cheese was in a fridge in the breakroom at work and someone ate it, or took a nibble, then you may want to consider putting your initials on future food items, including cheese, that you place in a communal workplace fridge. It is a great deterrent. Unless greedy Margaret Price (yes - I know it is you) works in your building.
Read full storyBook Review - The Fall Of The House Of Usher - by Edgar Allan Poe
Silly me! I got about 75% through this book, was enjoying it immensely, when I realized that this was not the book I thought it was! I was expecting a story about US popular singer/rapper Usher and problems involving a sub contractor who had done some "shoddy" work on his home, resulting in said home collapsing and poor Usher being crushed to death. If you are expecting a tale about the destruc...
Read full storyBook Review - Invisible Cities by Italio Calvino
Wouldn't it be great if we could make Washington DC Invisible? Add Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago and Albuquerque to that list and the world would certainly be a better place. Of course I have not read this book, and have no clue what it is about, but I would hope that it is a Science Fiction tale, set in the future where cities could make themselves invisible when under attack from alien invaders...
Read full storyThe Christian Right Explains "Religious Liberty"
Bill Schmidt, Executive Director of the Christian right Family Research Council, today explained the concept of "religious exemption." In view of the Governor of Arizona Jan Brewer's veto yesterday of an anti-gay bill, based on the concept, the ter...
Read full storySpooks targeted actor because he was a KGB 'count'
London, UK - More lurid Cold War secrets are out tonight with the news that Sir Blaggo Red-Crave was a commie bastard who sold his soul to the effing Stasi. And his eldest daughter, Lady Clitora Red-Crave, is a two-faced, Putin-fellating', hard-as...
Read full storySpike Lee Says Whites Should Be Banned From Singing Rap Music
HARLEM - Noted film director and highly outspoken brutha Spike Lee has just caused a tsunami of a mess with his latest off-the-cuff rant. Lee speaking with Yodell Denzel St. Bling of Afro Sheen Magazine at a local Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck's Ch...
Read full storyKerry Kennedy is Bill Clinton's daughter and he commissioned the RFK hit
New York - Newly declassified papers from the 1960s have shed a lurid light on the woodshed conception of Kerry Kennedy, the human frights troll. Farrowed in a Shergar, County Louse cattle byre young Kerry was smuggled out of Eire straight into t...
Read full storyDove Tells Women To Love Their Armpits
Many people have called New Jersey the "Armpit of America" for several reasons: 1. The state creates too much garbage and wastes. 2. It has more than a hundred toxic waste dumps, which is the highest of all the states. 3. It is the largest chemi...
Read full storyScientists In Nova Scotia Report That Seagulls Are Mysteriously Mating With Seals
HALIFAX, Nova Scotia - Scientists in Nova Scotia are totally baffled at a certain act that is presently taking place in the Canadian province. Dr. Chester Liverpool, with Nova Scotia's Department of Animals, Birds, and Fish has remarked that he an...
Read full storyThe Hollywood Press Is Wondering What In The World The Gorgeous Charlize Theron Sees In Sean Penn
BEVERLY HILLS - Lindsay Lohan threw a lavish Look At Me I'm Clean Party at the home of her close friend wealthy socialite Cayuga Archambeau. The gala event was attended by some of LaLaLand's well-know celebrities including Scarlett Johansson, Geor...
Read full storyHuge threat to Russian Paralympics as Yanukovych warns Ukraine could be stripped of (both!) Winter Olympics medals unless...
Bloodyvostock, Russia - Tweeting from a nuclear bunker somewhere underneath an old Soviet state-run vodka factory Ukrainian escapologist Viktor Yanukovych is tearing out his hair tonight. An ongoing civil war in his hometown Crimea threatens to pu...
Read full storyPaula Deen - I Am More Popular Than Jesus Christ
Paula Deen is at it again. Ever since news broke that Paula Deen admitted to using the N-word (the real N word - not nutrition) in a deposition last year, the self important, money grabbing, artery clogging inducing chef and health insurance compa...
Read full storyPresident Putin Explains Why A Russian Warship Is Sailing Very Close To Miami
MOSCOW - The White House has expressed some concern over a Russian warship which was docked in Havana Harbor and is now off the Florida coast. White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax stated that he has been informed by the Russian government that t...
Read full storyRussia Against Revolt
President Putnick of Russia has been outspoken about events in the Ukraine - he told our Moscow Spoof correspondent, Nicolai Kronsdat, that 'Russia cannot approve the overthrow of a Government by a mob of demonstrators.' When our man in Moscow rem...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Finally Get Engaged - Demi Moore Comments That It's A Sad Day For Demi Moore
HOLLYWOOD - One of Tinsel Town's most popular couples has finally announced their engagement. Ashton Kutcher, 36, star of Two and A Half Men and Mila Kunis, 30, who starred in The Black Swan will be walking down the ecstatic marital aisle in the n...
Read full storyUncertainty as NFL Considers Team Name Changes
Canton, Ohio (STT News) - News has been rife with reports of the Washington Redskins changing their franchise moniker due to negativity assumed by so many on the name. But it isn't just DC under the gun. While the league is carefully trying to kee...
Read full storyWings Over Scotland forced to withdraw 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books as the figures don't add up
Internet bampot and Chief Cybernat Stuart Campbell has been forced into an embarrassing u-turn after his 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books were found to be strewn with errors. The books were launched earlier this week in a blaze of glory, i...
Read full storyBook Review - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Harry Potter, #1) by J K Rowling
I bought this book at a yard sale in Atlanta while visiting my cousin Donald and his wife Audrey. They had been having some marital problems and we felt it would be nice to visit them and maybe offer support. Over the weekend Donald and Audrey just fought continually, culminating in Audrey admitting a affair with Donald's young brother Eric and Donald confessing he was actually a cross dress...
Read full storyBook Review - One Summer by David Baldacci
I read this in an airport in Germany. It was an odd experience, sat opposite me was a family from Dusseldorf who had brought a picnic with them to the airport. They laid out a blanket and everything and had sandwiches, chips and drinks....even a flask of coffee! It was pretty strange as there was a perfectly fine food court at the airport, but I guess they may have been trying to save mone...
Read full storyBook Review - To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
I purchased this book because I had a rather annoying Mockingbird nesting in a tree in my garden. He continually berates my family and is often quite rude. I had tried many times to kill it in the past and failed. I had tried ACME dynamite, a giant anvil, tying it to railroad tracks and shooting at it with a slingshot. Just like Roadrunner in the carton, it survived everything. So I bought...
Read full storyBook Review - All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Ellen Fein
This book works.....basically I followed all the instructions laid down in this manual and within three weeks I had not only imprisoned our noisy neighbor Mr Alex Right, but had cut him open, removed his heart and sent him on his way. Now he is as quiet as can be and we never hear a word from him, however the awful odor of rotting flesh that emits from his garage (where we let him rest several...
Read full storyBook Review - The Satanic Verses By Salman Rushdie
At first I thought this was the title of Ozzie Osborne's new CD. Well what can you write about this book that has not already been said. I will try. I would have liked to have seen more references to Star Wars in this book, I doubt anyone has said that have they? Okay, well, I read it, I kind of thought it was okay but without the hype this book would not have done as well and there ar...
Read full storySnowden Leaks GOP-Sponsored Report Blaming White Men For Nation's Problems
In 2013, the Republican Party funded an investigation of issues that they consider detrimental to the American way of life. The report, written by the influential Heritage Foundation, cites numerous examples of how white men have messed things up for...
Read full storySay It Ain't So - So Called "Funny Man" Lenny Henry Is Back
Tragic news coming from London is suggesting that not funny comic and not very good actor Lenny Henry has written a one-off drama based on his teenage years in Dudley. The news has already resulted in several hundred televisions being returned to...
Read full storyPopular Pornography for March 1, 2014
In this edition of Popular Pornography... ->0 Are Bed Vibrators a Thing of the Past? 0<- Recent reports from cheap, sleazy motels across the nation suggest that the long history of coin-operated bed vibrators may be coming to an end. With the cost going from a quarter to, in some cases, as high as $1.50, the business of shaking mattresses appears to be winding down. Cissy Filler, o...
Read full storyWall Street summons GOP to financial straightening out meeting over tax bill and general uppityness problems
Reports today indicate Wall Street is not at all pleased with Representative David Camp's (R-MI) new tax program which threatens to add taxes on to banks and cut corporate tax breaks. The furor has erupted even though the bill is still in draft st...
Read full story2014 Oscar Winners Leaked
Reports emanating from Hollywood are suggesting that the winners of Sunday's 86th Academy Awards have already been leaked and that several stars are not now going to attend the Oscar ceremony citing "what is the point?" The leaked memo names the w...
Read full storySNP to open chain of hairdressing salons
Alex Salmond today revealed plans for The Scottish National Party to open a chain of hair and beauty salons around Scotland. The move follows on from yesterday's comments made by celebrity hairdresser, Nicky Clarke, who said that "Scots are not...
Read full storyRobin van Persie tells United to "f*ck off" in double Dutch!
Star Dutch footballer, RVP (not RIP), thought he was being particularly clever during an interview with a Dutch TV team and actually told his fellow United losers to, "fuck off" in perfect Dutch of course. Now Robin, like many other Dutch chauveni...
Read full storyPope put out a contract on Mayor Giuliani after Clintons clash
New York - The hit was ordered just weeks after the two-bullet 'suicide' of ex-Rose Law Firm attorney Vince Foster whose body was found in a Fort Marcy Park, Virginia car lot in 1993. This morning aides of ex-New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani recalled...
Read full storyRussell Brand Amassing Underground Army To Overthrow Government
It's been six months since Russell Brand's interview with Jeremy Paxman on "Newsnight" in which he predicted a revolution against the current government. Not many took it seriously, but fast forward to this week and I'm being led down a dark and din...
Read full storyFowl pay suspected in bizarre murder case
Police have rounded up several angry chickens, following the discovery of the badly-tattered body of an elderly woman last week. After forensic investigations, Detective Inspector Ivor Nyedeer reckoned that 81-year-old Gladys Sawloaver had been th...
Read full storyLifetime topper fails blood test, is shattered
Aurangabad: Up until yesterday Kaiwalya Kishore Patel had never failed a test in his life. A topper throughout the twenty-seven years of his existence, today Kaiwalya is a shattered man. Reason: He has failed for the first time in a test - in the blo...
Read full storyMan applies whitener on computer screen to correct mistakes
New Delhi: Yesterday evening Baljit Singh Dhillon, an employee at a chicken factory in the city, was admitted in No Cure Hospital and received one and a half stiches on his right hand. Your fearless reporter was sent to the hospital to take a stoc...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Sends The Season's First Singer Packing
HOLLYWOOD - Well Mariah Carey is gone from American Idol and so is Nicki "The Clown" Minaj and Randy "The Dawg" Jackson sort of. Jackson has moved up from being an American Idol judge to being an American Idol mentor, which means that what he does...
Read full storyA Colorado Senator Wants To Make The Marijuana Plant The State's Official Plant
DENVER - Senator Jimbo Quickdance [D-Denver] has already become one of the most popular senators in the Rocky Mountain State. And now he may be bucking for a shot at possibly entering the 2016 Democratic Presidential Race. Senator Quickdance ha...
Read full storyConcerns as Spanish ships interfere with legitimate Gibraltar merchant shipping
Corncern by NATO over the continuing dangerous harrassment of merchant shipping in Gibraltar waters has been expressed in the strongest terms to Madrid and the EU by US representatives today. "The Spanish ships are ignoring Maritime conventions an...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Admits She May Be A Serial Female Kisser
LOS ANGELES - Well Miley Cyrus finished the month of February at 2 for 2. The unofficial twerking champion of the USA earlier locked lips with Katy Perry and now she has engaged in a deep French kiss with fellow singer Brooke Candy. When Miley...
Read full storyNorwegian Sea Oil Slick Could Wipe Out 27 Million Sardines
KRISTIANSUND, Norway - Norway's national news agency The Fjord has just issued a statement regarding the gigantic oil spill from the Laotian oil tanker The Laotian Rice. The Laotian Rice hit an iceberg and sunk spilling its cargo of 2.1 million ga...
Read full storyObummer plays the race card--again--in launching My Brother's Keeper
WHITEWASHINGTON -- Out to prove that he's as racist as anyone else, President Barack Obummer announced My Brother's Keeper, a multi-million-dollar program for "men and boys of color." White youth need not apply. "This be just for us bloods," t...
Read full storyKaty Perry: John Mayer And I Are Over - And This Time I Really, Really, Really, Mean It!
LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry could have saved herself a lot of time, money, and heartache if she had only listened to 17 or so of her friends and relatives and realized that John Mayer is a loser with a capital L. Katy should have gathered that the du...
Read full storyU.S. Military, Creator Of The Internet, Seizes It Back.
The U.S. Military, the true originator of the Internet, has had enough of the big game of shenanigans that it has become and is taking it back. "It was never meant to be the big circus that it is now." stated General I. Standtall speaking on behal...
Read full storyItaly Will No Longer Sell Grapes To Germany
ROME - The Italian government has just issued a statement that effective immediately it will no longer ship grapes to Germany. The Grapes For Sauerkraut Trade Program had been in effect since March of 1997, but Italy has stated that it is breaking...
Read full storyWashington Girl, 11, Shoots and Kills Cougar Tracking her Brother
An 11-year-old girl shot a cougar that was following her 14-year-old brother to their home at Twisp, in north central Washington. The female cougar killed last week was about 56 years old and weighed about 220 pounds - twice of what it should w...
Read full storyTurkey Twizzler hating chef now tackles Kiev problems
Jamey Olivier, the Nemesis of bad school dinners and the infamous Turkey Twizzlers has been asked by the new Kiev government to smarten up its defining dish, Chicken Kiev. "I'm a little busy at the moment, shovelling money into the bank but I know...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Spotted In The Company of A Hot Hollywood Hunk
HOLLYWOOD - Jennifer Aniston recently told Barbara Walters on The View that she feels as if she and her fiancé Justin Theroux have been engaged for ten years. The former Friends star said that she has gotten to the point where she no longer cares...
Read full storyLife sized Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell punchbags break all records for advanced Christmas orders
Piers Morgan has the face that most men would like . . . . . . .to punch according to a survey by Punch Bag magazine. Piers is "resting" at the moment between jobs but an anonymous close friend, Cliffe Richards told our reporter, "Piers is a gre...
Read full storyHe really wasn't dead... yet
New York, NY (STT News) - News is breaking that today's disturbance at LaGuardia International Airport was based on the shocking discovery that Elvis Presley really wasn't dead after all. At approximately 10:45 am, the entire airport was suddenly...
Read full storyA Swedish Woman Flies A Drone Over Russia - President Putin Is Extremely Upset
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Sonya Anderstaff, 51, says that she was just enjoying her new found toy drone and swears that she had no intention of causing anyone any harm. But the Russian KGB is not buying her story. President Putin has informed the Swedis...
Read full storySpooks intercepted Queen's nude Yahoo webcam shots
London, UK - Intimate screenshots of Queen Elizardbirth's naked 44ff tits were intercepted during Her Majesty's naturist video chats with different sorts of naked men 'including the Archbishop of Westmonster' according to a report tonight. Americ...
Read full storyDisabled Houston Veteran Booted From Restaurant Over Service dog
A disabled U.S. veteran says he was booted from a Thai restaurant in Houston because the staff were not prepared to cook and serve him his service dog as an entree. Aryeh Ohayon, who served in the Army and Navy said his service dog, Bandit, was g...
Read full storySix hours of Ellen DeGeneres in a pink crushed velvet tuxedo? Again?
Los Angeles - Comedian and TV host Ellen DeGeneres is returning to front Sunday night's Oscars 'because she didn't get in on the all-LGBT reporting gravy train' that broadcast the Winter Games in Sochi her publicist said today. So seven years afte...
Read full storyBook Review - The Cat In The Hat by "Dr." Zeus
I read this book with my daughter, I of course have to give this book a good review, however, and as a side note, please don't let your kids, after reading this book, insist on placing a hat on their own cat. Sammy got very upset when my 5 year old insisted he wear a hat, he was desperately trying to get it off his head. My daughter then got annoyed with him because he wouldn't speak - nor...
Read full storyBook Review - Discover Scotland, A Lonely Planet Book
The title of this book is VERY misleading. Scotland has ALREADY been discovered.....so if you are buying this book hoping to be the first person to discover Scotland you will be very disappointed. It is a functioning third world country populated by ginger haired people and men dressed in skirts. The women all have beards and they deep fry EVERYTHING. There may well be parts of Scotland yet un...
Read full storyBook Review - Madame Doubtfire by Anne Fine
I am sure there are better ways of getting to see your kids than dressing up and pretending to be a woman! Personally I see the sub text in this book - he had urges, certain uncontrollable urges to dress as a woman. Which is fine. Live and let live...but don't say it was for the kids....come on....please, he liked the feel of nylon on his legs, the freedom that a frock gives you, the fantastic...
Read full storyBook Review - Man and Boy by Tony Parsons
Man and Boy was THANK GOD not what I thought it was. The deceptive title and cover led me to believe that this was the story of an imaginary relationship between a 55 year old carpenter named, for example Colin Hutchinson, who forms an unlikely attraction to an 18 year old extremely handsome boy named, for example, Alan Twat. In the book I was imagining Hutchinson pursues Alan and tries to...
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