Written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 28 February 2014


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Bill Schmidt, Executive Director of the Christian right Family Research Council, today explained the concept of "religious exemption." In view of the Governor of Arizona Jan Brewer's veto yesterday of an anti-gay bill, based on the concept, the term has been in the national spotlight

"We think 'religious exemption' means 'religious liberty.' So, when legislation comes up on a national or state level that seeks to impose secular values on people affected by that proposed law the freedoms of Christians are at stake," he explained.

Schmidt said that the Bible is in opposition to gay, bisexual, and gender equality. "Particularly, the Word Of God is in opposition to reproductive rights of women."

"God chose Jesus to come into the world as a member of a patriarchal society. That's no accident. You can't force male employers to provide contraceptives to their employees. That goes against Holy Ghost teachings. Employers have the right to control access," said the Family Values chief.

Schmidt gave other examples of violations of religious liberty in an effort to explain its meaning. . When coercive prayer was banned in public schools, and when Bob Jones University lost its tax-exempt status because of its concept of Black inferiority there were violations of religious liberty he stated.

"In a nutshell, religious people must be allowed to discriminate,"

When I said to Schmidt, "Suppose a restaurant owner believes that the Jews killed Jesus, and as a result he posts a 'No Jews Allowed' sign on the door. Should this be allowed because it's part of his 'religious liberty?' he gave a response:

"Yah, Ich hasse die Juden töteten sie Christus."

Relying on my high school German I knew he had just said that the Jews had killed Christ.

When I asked if he were anti-Semitic he said that some of his best friends were Jews. Then he got personal with me:

Ich frage mich wie Herr Reporter Daly. Wenn du ein Jude bist? Hat sich Ihre Vorfahren ändern ein jüdischer Name Wenn Sie kamen auf Ellis Island?

I think the reader if she/he has never had introduction to German can translate this into English and discern the intent behind it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more