Katy Perry: John Mayer And I Are Over - And This Time I Really, Really, Really, Mean It!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 28 February 2014


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry could have saved herself a lot of time, money, and heartache if she had only listened to 17 or so of her friends and relatives and realized that John Mayer is a loser with a capital L.

Katy should have gathered that the dude known as The Wiener With Feet isn't called Mayer The Player for nothing.

John, or Johnny as Michelle Obama calls him, has left a string of broken hearts from Cucamonga to Cape Cod.

He has played with the love gadgets of such high profile women as Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Ke$ha, Taylor Swift, and even believe it or not America's most famous or infamous White House intern Monica "Lips" Lewinsky.

Katy fell for Mayer hook, line, and sinker, as they say down in Mobile, Alabama.

She really and truly thought that because she has two of the most amazingly gorgeous boobs in LaLaLand that she would be the one to tame The Great Love 'Em and Leave 'Em Emperor...wrong eraser nips, and let's make that wrong for the third time. STRIKE THREE! Out of the batter's box please.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more